Ron Luce on Friends Without Benefits

CBN.com SEX SELLS
Ron says God’s teenage guide to a healthy sex life is simple: “Don’t have sex. Wait until you are married, and then give all your passion and your love to the one you are going to be committed to for the rest of your life.” However, in a culture where sex sells, people are bombarded with messages/images of sexual content on a daily basis. Sex is a subject that evokes curiosity especially among the younger generation.  Most of the sex that we see on TV and in the movies is between single people. Sex is portrayed as the ultimate rush. In one analysis of the major network shows at the start of the 2007-2008 season, references to unmarried sex outnumbered references to married sex by a 2 to 1 margin. According to Mediafamily.org, sexual content is contatined in 22 percent of radio segments, with 20 percent of these considered “pretty explicit” or “very explicit.” The RAND Corporation says people who look at and listen to regular doses of these messages are twice as likely to get involved sexually before marriage.

In The Green Room

Go behind the scenes with Ron Luce

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
Over the last several years, Ron says there has been a rising trend among young people to not get “emotionally entangled” in a relationship. As a result, they get into “friendships” where they become involved sexually. Many teens don’t see this as wrong. Since sex is portrayed as normal in our culture through the media, many young people believe casual sex is okay.

Some of these relationships are “open,” meaning that those in the relationship know that the other person is having sex with lots of different people. Some are “secret,” meaning they keep it just between them and their partner. Some of these couples are friends who get involved sexually but have no romantic relationship. “Friends with benefits” or “hookup buddies” can mean different things to different people. According to a Teen Vogue survey, 79 percent of respondents considered a hookup as just kissing; 53 percent as touching; 46 percent as oral sex; and 47 percent as sex. Ron says the “benefits” of these types of friendships are not all they’re cracked up to be. In his book, Friends Without Benefits, Ron allows teens to openly share their views, mistakes, and discoveries about sex.

Comments From Those Who Are Waiting:

• I have not lost my virginity because I believe it is a gift, and you can’t get it back. It is very important to keep it. (Female, 16)
• It’s very important to me to stay pure until I’m married. I know it will be worth it and that God will bless me for it. (Female, age 15)

Comments From Experienced Teens:

• I snuck my boyfriend into my bedroom at night, and then it just happened. I still have trouble forgiving myself. (Female, 17)
• I was with a boy who told me he loved me, and I believed him. I didn’t feel like a child anymore, and I was disgusted with myself. (Female, 12)

PARENTS AND SEX
Ron says most parents do not say anything to their kids about sex. The problem is, if parents are not going to teach their kids what is proper and what the best use of their bodies is, where are they going to learn?

“God gives kids parents for a reason,” says Ron. As a father, Ron says when his kids were young and began to ask where babies came from, Katie and he gave mild answers. As the  kids got older, they were ready to understand more. When his children were the right age, he and Katie shared with their kids that they loved each other so much  they made a baby. “That formed the right picture in their mind of what sexual intimacy is all about,” shares Ron.

THE INVENTOR OF SEX
Ron says when you follow God’s commands, sex never gets boring, and it never gets dry. “God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave us instructions to save our bodies for the ones to  whom we will be married. He gave us these commands because He wants us to have a great sex life. “Sex is a good thing because God made it, and everything He made, He made good,” shares Ron. In order to have a great sex life, Ron encourages young people to do two things: (1) Commit to living with absolute purity by guarding their eyes, heart and  body from anything that is impure and (2) Be accountable to others.