Anthony Evans Shares the Benefits of Coupling Faith with Therapy

ADD HOPE TO YOUR FAITH

Although Anthony Evans seemed to be “living the dream” on the outside with a beautiful home in Los Angeles and a successful career in ministry, singing/songwriting, and acting, on the inside he felt exhausted, depressed, sad, and hopeless. He says, “Admitting you need help in evangelical church culture might raise questions, but acting like I had it together didn’t work. Things were not OK behind the scenes. It was exhausting to constantly pretend like I had it all together.”

When he tried to seek help from a church-based counselor, he quickly left the session feeling disillusioned and more depressed than ever. The counselor did not seem to be well-trained and was only interested in helping Evans solely because of his last name and connection to his father, world-renowned pastor and speaker, Dr. Tony Evans. 

One day Evans was watching the Steve Harvey show when a female therapist caught his attention. It was Stacy Kaiser, a licensed psychotherapist, answering questions from audience members. Anthony quickly realized how profound and wise she was, so he looked her up on the internet and requested an appointment. The two met for a consultation, and Kaiser quickly accepted Evans as her patient.

Stacy and Anthony worked together for some time to help him find healing and freedom. Now, they have teamed up to do the same for others. In their book, "When Faith Meets Therapy," Evans and Kaiser help others realize that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it’s a sign that you are serious about making healthy changes in your life. 

DEALING WITH THE UNEXPECTED

Anthony’s family lost eight members in a very short time, including his grandfather and mom. His sister, Priscilla, was also battling a cancerous tumor in her lungs, shortly after COVID hit. During that time, he experienced a lot of pain and trauma. 

Kaiser says when we face challenging and difficult situations like these, faith and hope are what give us the strength to persevere. Although hope may grow dim or cold, the embers remain. In times when you are feeling hopeless, you can change. You just need to figure out how to reignite the flames. 

When Evans asked her for some small steps that could help him cultivate hope again in his life, she responded, “Take a moment to think about your hopes and dreams and make a hope list, join a group that will build you up, and make a hope jar with things you want to do.” 

OWN IT, THEN CHANGE IT

Evans talks about the concept of remodeling his life and the steps he took to get there. He says that the first step to remodeling your life is the same first step you would need to take if you were wanting to fix up a home. You need to own it. He had to own his behaviors, thoughts, and the responsibility for making change. "I could not blame my circumstances or childhood or any of those factors outside of myself. I had to accept myself as God accepted me: just as I am, right where I am."

Kaiser helps Anthony realize that he must take ownership of his life so he can find true happiness and fulfillment. She encourages this by consistently checking in with yourself to see how you are doing and if you need to make any adjustments. To assess your life, you need to examine all of the most important areas of your life, such as family, intimate relationships, careers, faith, and finances.

Evans realizes that similar to fixing a home, he needed to dig into what was there in his life, work on it, and restore it to the best version of himself. Stacy helps him through this journey by providing key things he needed to do to be restored, such as counteracting his weaknesses through utilizing his strengths. Anthony realized that he had a huge weakness for being a people pleaser, which caused him to do certain things or act in certain ways, that would leave him drained.

Kaiser taught him that because he felt the need for external validation, he was staying in those scenarios longer than he was able to handle which caused him to overextend himself. Evans reminded himself that sometimes in working for God, we forget that He also tells us to rest. Finding rest, allowed Evans to perform better, and found his time with people to be more "warm and genuine" rather than "robotic."

Stacy also shares the "internal voice" we all have and the importance of self-talk and how powerful it can be. Self-talk impacts us in many ways and when it is negative, it can cause a lot of anxiety, stress, depression, etc. Anthony struggled with a lack of courage and confidence and became overcome with fears and doubts, as a result he struggled to see a future. He could not feel God’s spirit with him and felt lost. When he and Stacy worked on that “internal voice” and self-talk, that “little seed of hope” within him grew into action, and he was able to take that next step into remodeling his life.

Kaiser gives six helpful steps she gave Evans when you feel stuck in a rut of negative self-talk: assess the origins of why you are thinking negatively, interrupt the negative thoughts, distract through action, soften the blow by thinking in a positive light, avoid extremes by watching out for terms like “always” and “never”, and give yourself grace.

PROTECT YOUR PEACE, THEN LIVE IN IT

Anthony talks about how to find your peace, protect it, and how to live in it. He shares a story of a time when living in LA, things started to get crazier. A lot of riots began to happen, break-ins, etc. He saw that a lot of neighbors were putting bars on the windows of their houses. At first, he was against it, but realizing that things were getting worse, he decided to put them up so he could feel safe and live in peace. Although he did not like the way the bars looked, he began to understand that peace is more important than perception.

Evans says, "Some of us need to put up some bars to protect our minds, our hearts, and our relationship with God. Bars don't mean you keep everyone out. There are still doors. The bars mean that you keep out those who are uninvited." Kaiser teaches Evans that setting good boundaries is essential to a peaceful life.