The 700 Club - June 2, 2011

Some people use tears; I didn't trust tears. A seminary student with a double life. I had my private world and my real world. Hear his secret. I felt like I'm only one step away from being found out. And his shame. I would actually carve those words into my body: loser, failure, rejected. Well, welcome to The 700 Club, ladies and gentlemen. It looks like the economy is going into the tank. It isn't recovering. It doesn't look good for the president. The stock market took the biggest sell off in about a year. And people are jumping into US treasuries as a safe haven. But the unemployment stays high. Business recovery hasn't taken place. And I imagine the team in the White House is worried sick about what is going to happen. Now, let's switch on to something else that's a little bit more at hand and more tragic. Recovery teams are cleaning up in Massachusetts after tornadoes hit that state yesterday afternoon. The twisters killed at least four people. They left more than 55,000 without electricity. Governor Duvall Patrick has declared a state of emergency. He has called up 1,000 National Guard troops. The tornadoes were just the latest in a string of deadly storms to hit the United States this year. Paul Strand has a look at this year's unusual weather and what may be causing it. The year began with massive snowstorms and incredibly cold weather. Then as spring came, wild weather pushed disaster after disaster across the American heartland, whether it's epic fires burning more than 2.5 million acres in tinder-dry Texas or near record-breaking floods along the Mississippi and other rivers. I've never seen anything like this before in my life. So this is a historic event for us. And all of that was followed by the legion of deadly tornadoes, killing more people than in any year since 1950. This has been totally devastating. And we look at each disaster on its own merit, and this one is certainly among the worst that I've ever seen. We've been taking the earth for granted. Now I guess it's paying us back. Some say the earth is paying us back, because they believe in global warming, something they say is partly brought on by humans. This year has really been just the perfect year for tornadoes. More extreme events like floods, more extreme events like droughts, heat waves, wildfires. Those are phenomenon that we very much expect to see more of as we move into a warmer world. But meteorologists, like top forecaster Joe Bastardi, have a completely different explanation. He blames the wild clashes of weather on an overall trend towards a colder earth. We've always had cycles of up and down. And when you change the cycle from what was a warm cycle toward a colder cycle, that's when you're going to get the biggest fights. He says violent weather has come as the upper atmosphere experiences the biggest one-year temperature drop on record. And the lower levels of the atmosphere are cooling, but not quite as fast; the atmosphere becomes more unstable. Other scientists also say that because of unusual weather conditions this year, the cold air left over from the brutal northern winter has mixed in with the warmer air in the south. And that combination has led to these massive storms. And what about the future? Bastardi says that although many are worried about global warming, people instead should be bracing for colder weather in the decades ahead. And, he says, that isn't good. The problem is that cold is worse than warm on people. There's a lot more food growing where it's warm than where it's cold. Have you noticed that we're up here in Pennsylvania? No orange groves in my backyard over here. Bastardi believes the earth's climate is much too vast and complex for man to ever control its ups and downs. The climate is never steady. In Wisconsin, we've had glaciers and we've also had rain forests. Alright. So theoretically the range in this majestic creation in Wisconsin is that someday they could have rain forests again. Someday they could have glaciers again. Paul Strand, CBN News, reporting from State College, Pennsylvania. An interesting perspective, ladies and gentlemen. Get ready for a mini ice age, apparently. That's what he's saying. It makes a lot of sense, though, to have the kind of winter that really we've kind of all had across the country, and then talk about global warming is odd. Those Pacific currents, El Nino and La Nina, apparently control a great deal of what happens in the weather as the winds blow across the land. The Gulf Stream. And the Gulf Stream has done crazy things. It's gone way down south, and then it swung up again to the north. And it sucked in some air from Canada. You just never know what's going to happen up there. But Bastardi is the expert, and this is what he says; and I'm not going to argue with him. Well, Lee Webb has the rest of our top stories from the CBN Newsroom. Lee, what do you have? Pat, hundreds of Alabama families remain homeless after April's tornado. Many churches were also destroyed. And one group is volunteering now to help those houses of worship rebuild. Here is Mark Martin. The Mountain View Baptist Church of Dekalb County, Alabama, is being rebuilt after a monstrous tornado leveled the building on April 27th. However, a group known as the Carpenters for Christ of east Alabama is in no way intimidated. When churches in Alabama take a pounding from wicked weather, these Christian volunteers from all over the state come together and pull out their hammers and power saws, all in the name of the Lord. We have a mission. We feel like God has called us, each one of us, to go on a mission trip to help somebody else to share the Gospel as we go and help churches that are in need. The pastor of Mountain View Baptist Church says watching this group of 60 men rebuild the pieces of his sanctuary is amazing. To watch this go up this quickly and see this many men that love the Lord, and that's the reason they're doing it. They're not doing it for any glory or anything else. They're doing it for God. And they want to see His house put back up, and that's what's happening. Piece by piece, these volunteers are putting up the walls, rebuilding this house of God. At lunchtime, the group gathers for prayer before eating their food and then getting back to work. It's a great thing to do to help these folks get back the church that they lost. The volunteer help by Carpenters for Christ puts the church closer to their goal. The pastor says he hopes to have this new church ready for services in August. Mark Martin, CBN News. Turning now to Washington, Republican leaders say President Obama is not doing enough to cut spending. They met privately with him at the White House Wednesday, and they complained to him that he hasn't come out with a detailed plan for spending cuts, and they accused him of playing politics with Medicare while the nation heads toward a debt crisis. We've got to take on this debt. And if we demagogue each other at the leadership level, then we're never going to take on our debt. Republicans want to reform Medicare before it runs out of money. But some Democrats say the GOP is trying to destroy the popular health care program. Pat. Well, I tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it's a serious problem. We are running over a cliff, and it's not grandma that's coming over the cliff. It's the United States that's going over the cliff. And we have, I want to say it again, we have now less than two years before there is a major financial collapse with our credit, our money, our bond rating, all the things that go along to make a prosperous economy. We've got to do something about it, and the last thing we could do is demagogue. When somebody puts a legitimate proposal on the table, then to show ads of a wicked old man like Paul Ryan pushing grandma over the cliff. It's just outrageous. The Republicans aren't saying, "We want to destroy Medicare," what they're saying, "We want to fix it, so it will be stable in the future." And the Democrats just want to play politics with it. And at that White House meeting, the president has not come forth with any concrete suggestion. The Republicans said, "Here's a plan. Now, if you've got a better plan, bring it out," but they haven't brought one out. It was ridiculous, his initial plan. It was a joke. The problem is the president doesn't have any experience in finance. He doesn't have any experience in international diplomacy. He doesn't have any experience in running a business. He's never done any of those things. He was a novice when he got elected. So if you would elect a novice, you take what comes. It's like you take a pitcher from the local high school and put him up pitching for the Yankees. He just isn't going to be able to stand up against the bats in the major leagues. And that's what we've got. And the time, the sooner we recognize it, the better we'll be. Well, so much for my little discussion. Here is Lee again. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott joins an appeal of a federal judge's ruling banning prayer at a high school graduation in Castroville, Texas. The parents of one of the graduates brought the suit. They're agnostic. The judge's ruling forbids students from asking the audience to join in prayer or even bow their heads. They can't even say the word "prayer" or conclude their remarks by saying "amen." Abbot calls the ruling unconstitutional and is filing a brief supporting the school's appeal. The Southern Baptist Convention is one of several organizations calling on major league baseball to ban smokeless tobacco. It's already prohibited in the minor leagues and college baseball. Religious groups, though, want the major leagues to follow suit. They say players need to recognize they are harming themselves and influencing children. The 1971 Heisman Trophy winner and Samford University football coach Pat Sullivan is all for the ban. He used smokeless tobacco for 25 years before he developed throat cancer. Until you get scared, until something totally scares you, you're going to make those excuses. So it is an uphill battle. But when that doctor told me I had about a 40 percent chance to live, and I didn't know whether I'd see my children or grandchildren or my wife, that sure made me put it down. And I have not wanted one since then. Coach Sullivan is cancer free now. And he says he's more than willing to share his story with major league players. Top Hollywood television executives admit they have been using their programs to advance a liberal agenda for decades. That's according to the magazine The Hollywood Reporter. Conservative author Ben Shapiro interviewed the executives for his book, Primetime Propaganda. One producer who was a political independent says. . . . . . . . "Liberalism is 100 percent dominant, and anyone who denies it is kidding or not telling the truth." And the creator of the popular show House says . . . . . . . . "There is an assumption in this town that everybody is on the left side of the spectrum and that the few people on the right side, I think people look at them somewhat aghast, and I'm sure it doesn't help them." . . . . Shapiro is releasing his interviews on the Internet. He says his book is a plea for openness now in Hollywood, and he hopes the industry will hire conservatives or at least stop making fun of them. Well, Pat, as Gomer Pyle used to say, surprise, surprise, surprise! Yes. I'm shocked. I'm shocked. You mean there's gambling going on here? Right here in River City. These people are liberals? Goodness gracious alive. Isn't it amazing, though? They scream about anything that comes out with a conservative bent, and they ridicule Fox News. And they go after Rush Limbaugh and so forth. And they say that these conservatives dominate the airwaves. It's just not true. The liberals own the media. They own Hollywood. They own the writers, the people who write the scripts. And into these scripts they insert very subtly all kinds of liberal propaganda. Did you see Avatar, by any chance? Yes, I did. That was one big propaganda movie. Well, one of the reasons that they rail against Fox News is because the ratings of Fox are so great, which ought to tell them something about where the country stands on all of these issues. Well, the country is much to the right of what these people are. And they put these movies out. Of course, Avatar was so spectacular with all of its effects. But it was a scribe against international corporations, against the military, against the United States governments. I mean, we're all "rapacious monsters." Subtle messages. Not so subtle in that movie. And "we robbed the land from those poor Indians, and we ought to give everything back to the Indians and go back to Europe." I suppose that's the message. But it was about as blatant propaganda as I've run into. And yet everybody lapped it up, and they grossed 2.5 billion dollars. So that one won. Terry. Well, up next, dating in the land where men will soon outnumber women by 40 million. The truth is that it is very difficult for a man to find a woman. The competition for spouses is tough. Hear the desperate measures that some men are taking to find a wife. That's next. And then later, we're going to Bring It Online with questions from our live chat room, so go to CBN.com and submit your questions right now. Coming up later . . . . There was just something about seeing the pain that made me feel better. Confessions of a cutter. At least with self injury, I could control how deep, how long the cut was, how often. When you look in the mirror, can you imagine erasing years of aging? That's what I used to look like. Lifestyle Lift takes only about an hour. See the difference immediately. I'm Linda. I'm 70 years old. Can you believe it? Call now for a free information kit. It's quick, affordable, and takes only about an hour. Lifestyle Lift, a breakthrough medical procedure that helps remove wrinkles, frown lines and sagging skin. Call now for a free information kit. Consultations are free. Call Lifestyle Lift today. Stop throwing your hard earned cash in the trash. The all new FoodSaver vacuum packaging system with Smartseal technology could save you $2700 a year. Don't waste food with ordinary zipper bags and plastic wrap. The FoodSaver system takes air out and keeps it out, eliminating freezer burn. You can buy in economical bulk sizes knowing the extra stays fresh up to 5 times longer. With it's new upright design and hands-free operation, it has never been easier to keep your food fresh. The FoodSaver system, available wherever small kitchen appliances are sold. Tomorrow . . . . I went in there and I realized there was a demon in this place. A ghost hunter gets spooked. It scared me because it sounded inhuman. And then, a mom gives birth to miracle twins then needs a miracle herself. There were four good doctors in that room, and each one of us thought the same thing was going to happen. How she surprised the experts, tomorrow. Well, a few decades ago I warned very vociferously that what was going to happen in China was that they were going to have a problem maintaining the purity of the so-called Han-Chinese, because there won't be enough women. What did they do? They decided you could only have one baby; and if the couple had to choose, who did they choose? Well if it was a girl baby, they aborted her. If there was a boy baby, they let him live and he became a little prince, spoiled rotten, because there were now four grandparents trying to lavish goodness upon him. Well, when you mess with Mother Nature it comes back to haunt you. Three decades after its controversial one-child policy, China now has a surprise bride shortage. Millions of men in China can't find wives. Some desperate families even rely on human traffickers to bring their sons a bride. George Thomas has more from Beijing. WWW.95195.com. It's one of Beijing's fastest-growing dating companies. I'm here with my mother to look for a wife. On a recent Friday afternoon, 21-year-old Chang Ne Yung left work early to visit the offices of 95195. Inside, wall-to-wall pictures of women also looking for a spouse. I never considered doing it this way, but this is how many people nowadays are looking for a soul mate. And after filling out a few personal details, getting his picture taken and paying a small registration fee, his profile will soon hang on the walls among the hundreds of other men, hoping to catch the eye of some lucky lady. We have a good success rate matching potential couples but the truth is, it is very difficult for men to find a woman. The competition for spouses is tough. And here is why, there are 122 baby boys born each year in China for every 100 girls. The normal ratio is 105 boys born for every 100 girls. And the gender ratio is only getting worse. Chinese government figures show by 2020 there will be close to 40 million more men 19 years and younger than women. That's more than Canada's entire population. I worry about this and so do many of my male friends who are in the same boat. The problem started in 1980 when China launched its controversial one-child policy. The aim back then, was to limit births to one child per couple and keep the country's population below 1.2 billion. The government claims the policy has prevented 400 million births. But the consequences of this social experiment have touched every Chinese household. The centuries-old preference for boys coupled with the millions of aborted female fetuses puts China at the top of countries where boys outnumber girls. Those fortunate enough to find love insists changes must be made. If not the long-term implications are going to be devastating. Even the government is beginning to realize that this is a huge problem. In fact, a couple of years ago, China's state population commission said the following: "The increasingly difficulties men face finding wives may lead to social instability." In some parts of rural China there are villages that literally have no women. Families become desperate, so thousands of women are kidnapped and trafficked into China each year and many sold to families whose sons cannot find brides. This is a very serious problem in one of many unintended consequences of the one-child policy. And the latest census numbers reveal another unintended consequence, China's aging population. The over-60s make up just over 13% of the country. That's up nearly 3% from 2000. And those over 65 account for nearly 9% compared with 7% 10 years ago. Meanwhile, people under 14 are now less than 17% of the country. That's down from 23% a decade ago. Analysts worry a graying China could shrink the labor force and slow the nation's economic growth. Goldman Sachs says that the potential for China getting older before getting rich is very real. We are facing a problem of an aging population. It was more pronounced in coastal areas and in the more developed regions with large populations. The census figures, growing gender imbalance, and bride shortages have some calling for China to move to a two-child policy. People must have the opportunity to have more children if they choose to. But China's leaders aren't convinced, vowing in late April to maintain the status quo. Back at 95195 dot com's office in Beijing, Chang Ne Yung is still looking through the pictures. No one has caught his attention today, but he says he will keep trying until he finds someone or someone finds him. It might take a while, but I'm willing to wait. George Thomas, CBN news, Beijing. Thanks George, excellent piece. Ladies and gentlemen as I said a few years ago, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going to happen. It was inevitable that that policy of one child was going to bring on a shortage of brides. And indeed, it has happened. And again, and I want to use the term, "the Han Chinese," are very concerned about racial purity. They don't want to intermingle with people from Southeast Asia and other places. They think that they're pretty good, and they want to keep that way. Well, they've set up the situation where it can't happen. So, they go to India and stealing women, or they go to Southeast Asia. Fascinating situation. It really is. But I mean, it made sense Terry. The one-child policy, I said the Chinese have got to do what they've got to do. I'm not in favor of enforcing abortion which is what they were putting into place, but nevertheless they had a major problem. Well their solution to it ain't working. Yes and actually the problem could reverse far in the other direction as a result of it. Unbelievable. Well. Well, it's the way it is. But the same thing here in America, by the way. The thing that's keeping us vibrant is not the reproduction right, because we have so many abortions, 50 million or so abortions which is cutting the future. But we have so many immigrants that come in, and the immigrants are swelling the population in giving us a pool of workers. Without that, America would be going the way of Japan. Terry. Well, still ahead, on Sundays he was a preacher. On Mondays he was a cutter. I felt like I was only one step away from being found out. I felt like God wants perfection, and I can't be perfect therefore I'm evil and wicked. Self injury was a way for me to be authentic. Hear why he lived a double life when we come back. What makes the miracles of Jesus even more miraculous? Standing where they happened, in Israel. Come explore Jerusalem where Jesus opened blind eyes. Visit the hills of Galilee where Jesus fed the multitude. Stoll through Capernaum where Jesus lived, and taught, and healed. To learn more about standing where it all happened in Israel, visit www.goisrael.com. Come visit Israel. In the next 60 seconds, we want you to qualify to be the next 50,000-dollar home makeover winner. 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For Kary Oberbrunner it was the only pain he could control. I felt horrible. I felt like an imposter. I felt like I'm only one step away from being found out. I was a very highly functioning individual that had a secret story. Kary Oberbrunner had just met the woman of his dreams. He was a seminary student, a pastor. But he had a secret addiction. The secret started early when Kary was just a boy. I just remember as a young kid being made fun of a lot. I had a girl's name, I hated it. I had a stuttering problem. For me words were very important. If some friend called me a name, it really affected me. Kary's family was deeply involved in church. But Kary didn't think he could be honest with God about his feelings. I kind of believed the lie that when you go to God, you go to Him all cleaned up. You don't come to him upset, angry, frustrated, you just put on the smile and you serve Him with your performance. It was kind of the way that I went through life. I remember I had an AWANA leader who committed suicide. A classmate died of brain cancer. My mom had had two strokes right before that. These were examples that just kept piling up more and more. Kary didn't know how to express the pain that he was feeling. The normal ways that people cope, some people use tears. I didn't trust tears. When I cut off emotion. I think emotion for me was unsafe. It meant weakness. And so I was just going to suck it up, deal with it and move on. I remember I would be alone, and I felt a lot of pain inside. I would actually bite my arm. There was just something about seeing the pain that made me feel better. Kary's stoicism finally crumbled in his last year of high school. I was a state qualifier for the wrestling team. And this was my dream, wrestling. This is what I was good at. Right before the wrestling state tournament, I had gotten injured. Had a concussion and had to drop the team. Drop the tournament. All that was left was the school play. It's my turn to give my lines, and I stand up to speak; and everyone thought I was joking, because I couldn't get my lines out. And then the whole cast starts laughing at me. And right there, I said, "Forget it God; I'm done." And then Kary's dad had a massive heart attack. God seemed more distant than ever. I felt like God could do anything, anytime. And let's face it, God let His own son, Jesus, be killed. So I didn't feel very safe with God. That was really a time where I first remember using a knife to self injure. It was this emotional overload. So I didn't pursue the paths of drugs or sex or those types of things. I knew where all of that would lead: into more pain. And here I am trapped. Suicide is wrong; it's out of the question. Sex, drugs, all of that's wrong and yet I have intense anger. Where do I go with that? And I went to myself. At least with self injury I could control how deep, how long the cut was, how often; and I didn't really have to deal with God. I kind of describe it as a spiritual Heisman, where if you know the Heisman pose like that. I kept God pushed away with my hands. I would serve Him, and I had a hand over my heart. And I said, "No way are You coming into my heart, Lord." Kary graduated from high school and decided to attend seminary with a definite goal in mind. I felt like rather than run from God, I'll go into the profession where I can control God. I'll appease Him with my actions. I'll get on His good side with ministry, but I will completely be absent from Him with my heart. So it was a very tough duel world that I had. I have my private world in my real world, and as a result I was really in torment. The duel world Kary was living in took its toll. He retreated even further into self injury. I felt horrible. I felt like an imposter. I felt like I'm only one step away from being found out. Another thing was punishment. I did not feel okay with being imperfect. I felt like God wants perfection, and I can't be perfect; therefore I'm evil and wicked. And self injury was a way for me to be authentic. But there were deep times where I've felt so intense with my anger at God and myself that I would actually carve those words into my body: "Loser, failure, disappointment, rejected." Kary Oberbrunner is here to tell us the rest of the story. Kary, thank you for coming. Thanks for being here. I see so many things in that as I'm listening to you talk about this spirit of fear almost that you are afraid of yourself and the things that were going on inside of your heart, your ability to not measure up; and the enemy sure knows our weaknesses, doesn't he? He does. I just really started believing the lies. I kept myself from the Lord, and I just listened to the enemy. Yes, that's why they call him "the father of lies." At its worst, how bad was this? I remember at its very worst, I carved the "F word" into my body. I just had so much anger, and I couldn't take that to God I felt. My parents didn't make me believe that concept; I just grew up thinking you don't go to God messed up. You go to get cleaned up. And think about it. If that's the truth, then we would never come to God. Boy, that's true. Because we can't clean ourselves up. And so here I am preaching, being a pastor at a church, the big man on the Christian campus; and yet inside there's this entire separate life. Our lives are so performance-based, and I see that one time after another you seem to be squelched even when you have thoughts or took action to try to change. One of them, you decided at one point that it was time to admit to someone what was happening in your life, and you chose a professor. Tell us what happened. Yes, it's funny. God brought a wonderful woman into my life, Kelly, who's now my wife. And she was the complete opposite of me. Opposites attract. She was very free with the way that she felt. And my world began to unravel. I let love into my heart and therefore pain. Pain comes in as well, and so I was very angry. And so I went to this professor, and I wanted to be free. I wanted the help. Now, you're in divinity school at the time? Yeah. I'm getting an M.Div., and I am near graduation. They had seen signs that I wouldn't go near people's pain in my counseling when I was the counselor. If you haven't dealt with your own pain, you're not going to come near other people's pain. So they saw this gap, and they began to put flags out there that said I might not graduate from this class. Wow! Well, out of just a desire to be authentic, I went to a professor and said, "I am struggling." I tried to get freedom, and rather than him accepting that, eventually I did confess, actually showed him my scars; and I found out that he failed me. He failed me from the class. He said, "You're not fit to be a counselor." That was just the last blow, because for the first time I finally was real with my story; and rather than acceptance or help, it was pure rejection. Yes. When you're going to counsel someone else about how to handle deep pain, I think it would make you more authentic to have walked the journey and come out on the other side. Speaking of the term "journey," you use words in your book that you've written, like "steps" and "journey." What do you mean? Why? I believe that most people don't have a language for their pain. Here's what I believe. I believe that all sin is self injury. We tend to think cutting is the only form of self injury, but when you think about it, alcoholism, drug addictions, adultery, all sin is self injury. And so we all have ways to deal with our pain, inappropriate ways that rather than go to the Father and get healing, we choose other paths. You started cutting after a series of unfortunate events. We've talked a lot just in the last couple of minutes about pain and how we all have it in our lives. How do you handle your pain differently in your life now than when you did when you were cutting? I learned some great tools, in fact writing. A lot of self injurers—I know we're going to talk with Matt and Kara in a moment, but they would share as well that words are so difficult to find at times. And so young teenagers, 15% of female teens self injure and 4% of teen males. I think it's truly because a lot of teenagers haven't developed yet the language for their pain. To express. And so you feel this incredible pain and yet everyone on the outside thinks you're doing great. And so you desire authenticity, but you don't know how. You don't know how to emote. And so now I've learned skills: writing, art. In fact the best tool that I've learned is a true authentic relationship with God. When I'm angry now at God, I tell Him. Rather than go to Him all cleaned up, I go to him all messed up. And that's where I find grace. Does knowing that God accepts you exactly where you're at, change your fear of how other people except you? I think that until you really understand that you are accepted in Jesus Christ, you will walk around deficient. And you will walk around very toxic with other people. Well, we're going to talk more with Kary and as he said, we have some special guests. But I want to mention the name of your book, Your Secret Name. Find out how you can discover your secret name and the difference it will make in your life. Well, Kary has stopped cutting. There are many former cutters who still struggle with the temptation. That's why Kary said breaking free from the addiction is a journey. Well, recently we met with two people who are still on that journey. I'm Kara, and I'm 18 years old. I was a cutter for about 4-1/2 years. I was abused by a family friend was around the age of seven and eight. That led to feelings that I didn't really know how to handle. So I cut because I didn't feel good about myself. I felt unloved. I was angry and I was sad, and I didn't know how to release my emotions. My first suicide attempt, I tried to overdose on Tylenol PM; and then the second time I tried to cut my wrists. I said there must be no God. But I knew that my parents were Christians, and I knew they wouldn't want to hear that; so that's something I kind of dealt with internally. I was relying on my own strength. I wasn't looking to Him at all. I had completely stuffed what had happened to me when I was a kid, down to places to places where I didn't even know where it was anymore. Last summer I had heard the news that a family friend had died, and this friend was related to the person that had abused me. It triggered these memories, so all of a sudden I was having flashbacks and dreams. My name is Matthew. I'm 21 years old and I cut off and on for about four years. The biggest reason I cut was just to release from all the emotions. I took people's opinions of me and I became angry with myself, because I didn't fit those expectations of who I thought I should be. I wasn't athletic. I wasn't popular. I was feeling kind of picked on by friends and feeling like I was unloved and kind of unnoticed. I kind of felt like God was up in Heaven and was just kind of looking down, and He had more important things to deal with than me. Didn't really feel like I had anything special to offer. And so I just didn't have very much self-worth because of that. When I was off at college was when he got the worst. The last time I cut, I ended up in the hospital in the ER, because I had to have stitches. The ridicule and humiliation that I was facing from people who used to be my friends who are also Christians kind of led to the last suicide attempt. Kara Ericson and Matthew Harmon are now with us, and we welcome both of you. Thank you for coming on to share your stories. Let me ask you both if you would just tell me. What made you cut rather than try to get help? Kara why don't you start. I think I cut because like I didn't want to burden people with my problems. I didn't want to tell people how I was really feeling about things. I just kept it to myself. And, Matt, it sounded like you almost got to the point where you didn't feel like you're worth getting help for. I didn't know how to express my emotions at the time. I had other outlets, but they didn't seem like they were very much relief. It was a major release for me at the time. You know, high school and college are such tough times. Everybody's trying to figure out who they are. So if you feel like you're more lost than most, you're probably not, but finding somebody you can confide in is pretty difficult. At one point the brother of the man or the boy who abused you died, and you actually saw that person in your life again. Yes, it was right after the memories were triggered again that I decided to call him up and ask him, "What was up?" I wanted to confirm that it wasn't just a story I wasn't just imagining. Imagining, making it up. Right. And so I met up with him, and I talked with him. Matthew, suicide actually was something that was in your heart and in your mind at the peak of all of this. How did you get past that? You know, it just came down to God's grace for me. There were several attempts where afterward I saw God had saved me and brought me out of that. In the back of my mind that was there, there was a possibility that He had saved me for greater reason. After the last time, how things went down, I saw that grace even more. And then you have to trust. It's almost like freefalling into the arms of Jesus isn't it when you jump off a cliff that's been so high, and you don't know what the future holds. How did you learn to trust God when you felt like He didn't even see you as valuable before? It was definitely hard to gain that trust. It took a few months. It probably could have gone into a few years. It took being able to trust believers, really. Really, it was the willingness for you to jump without really knowing whether someone was going to catch you or not. So there's a decision that you have to make, isn't there, to kind of come out of that and take a chance with God. I wanted to mention again our first guest, Kary. You have this book, Your Secret Name. We see the pictures of carving names that you've given yourself into your body in a destructive way, but God wants to give us a new name. Tell me about what you've learned about that and how we discover what our secret name from God is. Yes, there's a verse in Revelation 2:17 that says, "To the one who overcomes will be given a new name written on a white stone, and no one knows that name except the one who receives it." John's audience in Revelation understood the power of what a white stone symbolized. Back in the first century, they would vote in a court of law. This had nothing to do with skin color, but if you were guilty they would vote with a dark stone. And that's where we get our term "blackballed" from. And if you were innocent, you would be voted on with a white stone. I'm sensing some things from Kara and Matt; and I would say self injury is predominantly about identity. It's the way that you see yourself. When I found true freedom, it was because I finally believed that God saw me as more than the lies that I was believing. But I first had to take a step relationally to God, the one that I felt was dangerous and unsafe. You know, we talked about the fact that the enemy is the father of lies, but Jesus said He, Himself, is truth and that when we knew the truth, it is the truth that would set us free. I want you to get this book. If you cut or you know somebody who does, Your Secret Name is a great book. Call us: 1-800-759-0700, or you can log on to our website CBN.com. We have stories, other resources which you can find by going to our website. Also, as you check out this book, make sure you pass it on to somebody else. With the percentages Kary was talking about, there are lots of people who know it. And they, liked Matt and like Kara, can become overcomers. And like Kary. So we want to encourage you to do that. Thank you for being so candid and so honest with us today. It's great to have you on the program. We're going to be back with more of The 700 Club right after this Coming up later, our chat room is open and we want to hear from you. We'll Bring It Online with your questions. So don't go away. My name is Roger Stump, and I'm a cancer survivor. The surgeon said it's inoperable. "It's already in your liver." My wife, Brenda, sat there and cried; and I'm thinking, "I can't die right now. I'm only 52 years old." I was so distraught. I've heard Cancer Treatment Centers of America have experience with pancreatic cancers. It was like night and day. The hospital just breeds an environment of hope. You get a CT scan, and the next morning the results were read to you. We'd go up there; I just knew it was going to be a good result. You could just see the joy on Dr. Granik's face. Call now and we'll show you how the most compassionate people anywhere put you at the center of everything we do. Together, we'll explore real treatment options you may not even know exist. Cancer Treatment Centers of America. It is such a different place, because they give you hope. I would strongly urge you to call them and get a second opinion. Please call today. Welcome to Washington for this CBN News break. Russia's Orthodox Church and conservative lawmakers are pushing legislation that would limit abortions. The measure would ban free abortions at government-run clinics and prohibit the sale of the morning-after pill with a prescription. If passed, abortion for married women would require the husband's permission and teenage girls would need their parents consent. A week's waiting would also be required before a woman could have an abortion. Russia has one of the world's lowest birthrates. Human rights activists say soldiers in Egypt have subjected women protesters to quote, "virginity tests." The allegations first surfaced after a March 9th rally in Cairo's Tahrir square. Amnesty International says 17 female detainees were threatened with prostitution charges and forced to undergo the tests. They were also reportedly beaten and given electric shocks. You can always get the latest from CBN news by going to our website at CBN news.com. Pat and Terry will be back with more of The 700 Club right after this. Stop throwing your hard earned cash in the trash. The all-new FoodSaver vacuum packaging system with Smartseal technology could save you $2700 a year. Don't waste food with ordinary zipper bags and plastic wrap. The FoodSaver system takes air out and keeps it out, eliminating freezer burn. You can buy in economical bulk sizes knowing the extra stays fresh up to 5 times longer. With it's new upright design and hands-free operation, it has never been easier to keep your food fresh. The FoodSaver system, available wherever small kitchen appliances are sold. Have you ever heard the expression "good as gold?" Well, gold is on everybody's minds these days, and rightfully so, having risen in value dramatically since 2001. For years now, I've been singing the praises of one of the most recognized and trusted names in gold, Swiss America. They believe, like I do, that people need to know what's good about gold. Gold has withstood the test of time, and so has Swiss America. Now is the time to rediscover gold, because gold offers diversification, profit, potential, and best of all, privacy. Call or visit online now and ask for the Pat Boone DVD, and they will gladly rush out a copy along with other information about getting gold into your nest egg. If you're going to buy gold, buy it from a company you can trust. I did. And I've been a satisfied Swiss America customer for over 15 years. They are as good as gold. Call or log on right now. Tomorrow . . . . I went in there and I realized there was a demon in this place. A ghost hunter gets spooked. It scared me because it sounded inhuman. And then, a mom gives birth to miracle twins. Then needs a miracle herself. There were four good doctors in that room, and each one of us thought the same thing was going to happen. How she surprised the experts, tomorrow. To see this week's most viewed stories go to CBN.com. I don't know if you breathed a sigh of relief or whether it's a time of joy or sadness, but the school year is almost over; and while most students spend their day studying hard for final exams, Angela spends hers finding a bucket of water. Angela has walked this path thousands of times to get water from a dirty stream two miles away from home. Like everyone in her village, this is where her family bathes, washes their clothes and gets drinking water. Her mother, Victoria, grew up getting water from the same stream. We've been drinking from this well since the time of our forefathers. Although it was murky and dirty even after settling. We drank it that way; that's all we had. As the oldest child, Angela's responsible for many of the house chores. I used to wake up early in the morning and go to the stream to fetch water. When I got back home, I did the rest of my chores; and then I went to school. The school was also 2 miles away. Angela was always so tired she could hardly concentrate. While the other students were busy working, I would fall asleep. My grades were far below average. One-day Angela and the others got word that Operation Blessing was going to dig a well in their village. I was very excited, because I knew my problems would be solved. I would not have to spend so much time getting water. Soon the wells were dug, and everyone in the village had clean freshwater. With more time to study, Angela passed her Junior high exams and is among the few students in her village to move on to senior high school. Getting this well encouraged me to study hard so that I can help by village one day. I could provide a public bathroom, view the school, or do something else important. There is a big difference in our lives. This well has brought us great joy. Thank you all Operation Blessing because of what you have done for us. May God richly bless you. It takes so little to bring joy to somebody's heart. So little! So little to give them hope and a whole new future. So Angela is one of many that have been helped. We've drilled wells, I don't know, 2600, 2700 wells I think is about the number, maybe a few more than that, but it's something in that range. Along with those wells is usually a church or something that goes along that tells people about the water of life. So it's a tremendous thing. If you want to participate with us, reaching out to those less fortunate, you can join the 700 Club. It's so easy; it's 65 cents a day, and we want to send you something. This has proved very popular. Life Beyond the Grave. It's stories of those who died, either went to Heaven or Hell and came back to tell about. Fabulous. You don't want to miss it. It's riveting, really. I've wanted all my children to see it, because I think it's very reinforcing. Terry, this is the idea. People are asking what do I do after I die. Everybody wants to know. Instead of preaching a sermon to them, let them see firsthand accounts. Gordon, came up with something during our telethon which I think was very creative. He says that those who pledged $1000 would get five copies of this DVD. You'll have it. There it is, and you can give it to your friends and say, "Why don't you just put this into your DVD player and watch firsthand." Okay. Telephone number 1-800-759-0700. All right let's go. Chat room questions. Chat room. Okay, this is Cecelia who asks, "My neurologist prescribed the medication to control seizures, but I'm not getting better. Should I stop taking my medication and just wait for God's miracle healing?" Cecilia, I am not a doctor. I've never examined you, and for me to tell you to stop your medicine would be folly. So I can't do that, but I can tell you to get a second opinion. There are many times, many times that the medicines we take make us sick, because they have untoward consequences. You watch some of the commercials for the medications that are on sale, and you see the list of disclaimers. Can you believe that? Unbelievable! If you have headaches, seizures, extra bleeding. Suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts, yes . . . . It's crazy. Also there are different medications to treat seizures. If you're taking a medication for it, and it's not working, you need to sit down and discuss that with your doctor and look for an alternative. Again, doctors are busy, and they say, oh go ahead. I tell you, certainly the staten drugs, people think all statens are wonderful, but a friend of mine was taking them, and he was having aches and pains all over his body. I said, stop that stuff. He stopped it, and I think he's gone to something else, but nevertheless. There's so much online on the Internet today where you can actually go and look at what these drugs are. Okay, but anyhow, I am not telling you to stop your medicine, because that is not my gifting. I can't do it. But I can tell you get a second opinion. All right. This is Gigi who says, "My husband and I prayed for our grandson's protection and salvation. But recently he was killed in a freak accident. Why would God let this happen when he didn't know the Lord?" Are you sure he didn't know the Lord? You don't know what went on in his mind. The Bible says the righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart not knowing that he's being spared from the evil to come. There's a lot of bad stuff in our world and a lot more coming. You don't know what your grandson could have gotten into. So in the wisdom and plan of God, He'll work everything together for good to them that love Him. But I don't know. I don't know what was in your grandson's heart when he passed on. But dying isn't the worst thing in this world. There's a lot of things worse than dying. If you die in Jesus, it is a trip to paradise, and that's not a bad thing. All right, what's next? This is a question from one of our viewers who says, "My son's friend in middle school recently lost his life. I have heard that when children die, they automatically go to Heaven. Is this true?" No, it's not true. Jesus said suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, because of such is the Kingdom of Heaven. It says, "Their angel always behold the face of my Father in Heaven." So these little ones belong to the Lord, but somebody who's a teenager, by that time he's got an opportunity to commit evil deeds. He knows right from wrong. I think a child, a little baby for example, has no consciousness of right and wrong; and so how can he be held guilty for anything? So yes, they go to the Lord. But when somebody's 13, 14 years old, they know every bit what they're doing. This is Cheryl who says, "I've been told that the book of Revelation says that only 144,000 will make it to Heaven. Is this true? Well, the Jehovah witnesses would like to thank that it's true, but it's not true. That's 12,000 x 12. It's the number of the tribes of Israel. It's a theoretical number, but it doesn't have to do all the people going to Heaven. These are the witnesses on earth. In a particular time. In a time, but they're the ones that are go to go proclaiming the Gospel. All right, what else do you have? This is Lanette who says, "Recently I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I attend church, read my Bible, pray every day. But I haven't felt the Holy Spirit. I read that you are not saved until you have the Holy Spirit. Is this true? Does that mean I'm not going to Heaven?" Again, I don't know what's going on in your heart, but I do know that if you've repented of your sins, and you have accepted Jesus Christ by faith, and by conscious act of volition you have turned your life over to Him, then you can start claiming the promises. Now the baptism of the Holy Spirit is something beyond this. You need to look move into that and ask the Lord. I have a tape that I want you to get that we have been offering to people who accepted the Lord. It'll tell you about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Read the Second Chapter of Acts and see what happens there. But you need to move on. God has more for you, and He'll give you that joy. But focus in on Him. Let the Holy Spirit fill you, and then with that feeling will come an expression of joy that the Bible says is joy unspeakable and full of glory. Okay, this is Rick who says, "If you're plagued with a disease, does it mean that God is punishing you for a sin in your life? I've asked God for healing, but I'm still in pain." No, it doesn't mean. Remember Jesus said they came to him, and said, "Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" And he said, "Neither, but that the glory of God might be shown." No, the disease is not necessarily a punishment percent, but it sure can be a punishment for unwise choices in the way you live. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what kind of diet you have. I don't know what kind of exercise regime. I don't know what kind of medicines you're taking. I don't know what your genetic makeup is. You need to know all those things but, will the Lord heal what you've got? The answer is yes, He will. So turn it over to Him and ask for his healing and begin to confess it, because the Bible says, "By His stripes you are healed." But don't let it be thought of that it's a curse from God for your sin, because you'll never get rid of it if that's the attitude. Well, that's all the time we have for today show. Thank you so much. Tomorrow, if you can believe it, a real-life ghost Hunter. I don't believe in ghosts. See what happens when she gets spooked. Well, we leave you today with the words of Jesus . . . . . . . . "Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." See you tomorrow, bye-bye. Here at CBN, we see amazing things happen when we stand together. That's why we want to say thank you to the thousands of you . . . . . . . . who recently pledged to join the 700 Club. Your monthly gift makes it possible to bring crucial help to those who need it most. You help heal the sick, feed the hungry . . . . . . . . and preach the Gospel across America and throughout the world. You've brought health and hope to people in desperate need. And changed their lives forever. When Kitty was abandoned by her parents, she went to live with her grandmother in the middle of a garbage dump. They ate scraps of food from the dump and tried not to get bitten by the rats. That's when you built them a new home and set up a small clothing business near the market for Kitty's grandmother. You rescued them from hunger and fear. So please watch for this mailing and send in your pledge. 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