When Baby Showers Outnumber Weddings

Americans have become less likely to marry. And according to experts the trend is likely to continue, especially in the African American community. But one woman has set out to turn the tide. The Stigma is Gone When Mary Ann Reid looked around her Brooklyn neighborhood, she noticed more baby showers than wedding showers -- and heard terms like 'baby mama' and 'baby daddy' more than she cared to. "The stigma isn't there anymore. We're not sending the girl down south, we're not rallying, and we're not trying to find a solution," she said. The terms 'baby mamma' and 'baby daddy' have been made popular by Hip Hop and R & B lyrics. They describe men and women who have children together but aren't married to each other. Reid took action and came up with what she calls "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day" - an effort she hopes will reverse "anti-marriage" trends in the nation, especially among African Americans. "It's not just a black problem, it's a national problem," she said. Three years ago Reid started her one-woman crusade. She went to cake bakers, dress designers and other people who work on weddings, and persuaded them to donate their services to give a mass wedding to 10 unwed black couples with kids on "marry your baby daddy day." "We have 10 dresses, 10 brides; we have all of the jewelry, all of the cakes," she said. Reid's mission to encourage more blacks to 'jump the broom' has even been featured on ABC's 20/20 program. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that black women accounted for 42 percent of unmarried women in 2002, compared to 21 percent of white women, and 45 percent of black men versus 28 percent of white men. The overall U.S. marriage rate declined 17 percent between 1970 and 2001. But for blacks, it fell by 34 percent. Times Have Changed The trend is markedly different from times past. Most black kids used to be raised in a traditional home where their mom and dad were married. And when it comes to living together, Reid says African American couples list various reasons. "Some of the reasons had to do with lack of motivation from their families,' she explained. "Nobody was married in their family and they came from generations of people not being married." "Another reason is an idealistic view of marriage that 'I have to have a certain type of income', that 'I have to have a certain type of job,'" she said. Reid argues that easy access to government assistance is also partly to blame. "If she can get checks and stuff from the court and from him and he has to pay back child support - all of this they can take care of without him being there," she said. Dawshawna Mitchell and Michael Martin have been living together for four and a half years. That's all about to change, thanks to Reid. They are one of 10 couples set to take part in this years' Marry Your Baby Daddy day. Now with a two year old daughter, the couple wants to be a real family more than ever. "That was my goal in life: to be a family. I wanted a strong bond with my life and marriage," Martin said. They hope their marriage one day will inspire their daughter to do the same. "As far as marriage goes she can see us getting married and say you know what mommy and daddy got married," Mitchell said. Reid says that's what's most important. Kids Win When Mom and Dad Are Wed "Children are the winners when parents are married, meaning that they have a stable home," she said. "It's also a sign to the community that this family is investing and committing to preserving, protecting and providing for their children." But will these marriages last? Reid says so far, so good. "The success rate has been fantastic," she said. "All of our 2005 couples are still together." And so on Sept. 27, Dashawna and Michael will begin a new life together - as husband and wife. When asked if they were excited about their upcoming nuptials they said, "Yes, very excited."