Dave Says: Girlfriend in Bankruptcy Trouble
Dear Dave, My girlfriend is thinking about filing for bankruptcy. I’m pretty responsible with finances, but she’s in a terrible financial situation with a lot of credit card debt, an expensive car payment, and a big, fancy apartment. Plus, she just quit her job because she didn’t like it anymore.
She’s been suggesting to me that if we move in together it will help solve her problems. My concern is that if we can’t handle our finances as individuals, what’s going to happen if we get together. Can you help?
-- Dino in Tampa, FL
Dear Dino,
This is someone to keep dating, not marry or move in with, and see if she changes her spending habits. You’d have a very tough life being married to this chick unless she makes some attitude adjustments where her money is concerned.
I can’t say if she’s technically bankrupt, but she definitely needs to move into a cheaper apartment and sell the car for starters. But bankruptcy’s not going to solve anything if she’s got a heart problem. By this, I mean if she buys stuff just to try and be happy with having stuff and living beyond her means in the process. Many people have the idea that they are what drive, or they are where they live. Those are heart problems, and that’s the way I was 15 years ago until I got some sense knocked into me by going broke. Then I realized I had to stop and make some changes.
Dino, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t worthy of your love or she’s a terrible person, but this girl’s got some growing up to do. Money matters aside, you don’t quit your job without a plan unless you’re being sexually harassed or abused or there’s some matter of principle at stake. Leaving one job for another is okay. The idea of deciding you just don’t like something, though, and walking away from it when you’ve got a bunch of bills is just plain irresponsible. You don’t jump off the dock until the boat is there.
Honestly, she’s probably not bankrupt, but there are some character issues here that need to be addressed. Hopefully, you two can do this together.
-- Dave
