Our Heart's Desire

At last, the time was here. Her body told her it was time to go to the hospital. We were having a baby! Our first. It was a joyous occasion made even more joyous by the long 19-year wait that proceeded this day. 

Yes, for 19 years of marriage, we served the Lord in church, in ministry, and held onto our faith that God would fulfill His promise by giving us the desire of our heart. 

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desire.” Psalm 37:4 (NLT)

All of that is behind us now, but reflection is enlightening. We watched as our siblings and friends started their families, all the while hurting, as we were unable. Being around other’s children at church and family events was often painful, especially as well meaning elders would ask, “So when are you having children?”

Only someone who has been through this can truly understand the embarrassment and pain. But today is a new beginning! 

How long must we wait Lord, was ever in our prayers. My wife was driven and it was so frustrating as we tried everything including Doctors. During my morning walks I would pray, ”Lord, if you’re not going to give us a child, then please take the desire from our hearts.” He never did.  

After medical procedures and the first pregnancy, our hopes were dashed with a miscarriage of twins. She had been through the wringer physically and emotionally long enough. I decided that she needed a break. 

After a few weeks being emotionally exhausted, my heart cried out to the Lord, “ Well I guess I’ll never be a father.” I gave up from deep inside. Moments later the Holy Spirit prompted me to open my Bible and so I did, at random. My eyes fell on a verse concerning barrenness with a promise,

“From this day onward I will bless you.” Haggai 2:19 (NLT)

Instantly, hope sprang forth from my soul and I knew that my dear wife was pregnant, now. God did it today! I came home and shared with her the promise God had just made and we also shared with some friends as a witness to the testimony. In a few weeks we did the test on Christmas Eve and yes, she was pregnant! Incredibly enough, the time line matched the day that God blessed us. 

Looking back on those 19 years, I realize that though they were tough, we gained joy and a bond that cannot be broken, a bond between a couple and their God.

Now our daughter is a University Graduate pursuing her career. 

Many times I thought of Abraham and Sarah, and how he was 100 years old and she was 90 when they had their son. (See their story in Genesis 16-17) I’m glad we didn’t have to wait that long. Never lose hope. Glory to God! 

Copyright © December 2018 Gene Markland, used with permission.