Strengthen Your Relationships
CBN.com Does a significant relationship in your life sometimes leave you feeling stumped over the same issues? Perhaps you bicker over the same topic or find yourself wishing the person would change in some way. During a television interview, I was asked to share some relationship strategies to help strengthen partnerships. It's the little things that create a lasting relationship. But even the "little things" take practice. Here are four simple strategies—ones you may already know, but don't always remember or actually "do." Although I created them for a significant other relationship, you may also find them helpful for a trying relationship with other loved ones, too:
1. Focus on the good.
When we are frustrated, we often only focus on what's wrong. But putting things into perspective is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship. Pay attention to what's right—and appreciate it—and then address the problem.
2. Don't play guessing games.
Ask key questions, listen, and REMEMBER the answers. "How can I help?" "What makes you feel loved?" Also, say what you want and need. If you force them to guess what you want, there is a pretty good likelihood they'll guess wrong!
3. Bite your tongue (and listen).
As much as you want to voice your opinion and prove your point, sometimes it is best to simply be quiet. It gives the other person the opportunity to be heard, allows them to "let their guard down," and helps you focus more on the goal of a better relationship than the goal of "being right."
4. Listen for the message beneath the words.
Don't take everything at face value (but don't overanalyze either!). Be sensitive to what your partner is going through that s/he might not say out loud. Sometimes they just need to hear that you 'get' them, that you understand. "You say you're excited about the new job, but your eyes don't have that twinkle. Why is that?"
When you focus on listening and understanding a loved one, you express love through your actions and open the doorway to meaningful communication.
A sought-after life coach and speaker, Valorie Burton seeks to inspire people to live more fulfilling, less stressful lives. She is the author of Listen to Your Life, What’s Really Holding You Back?, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, Why Not You? 28 Days to Authentic Confidence, and How Did I Get So Busy?.
