Former Convict Set Free to Live in Peace
BOBBY’S BACKGROUND, LIFE OF CRIME, AND ESCAPE
Growing up as a Black child in the Jim Crow South of Greensboro, North Carolina in the 60’s, Bobby was at a disadvantage from the get-go. His mother raised him to work hard and believe in Jesus, but after he lost his father at the age of nine, he quickly started getting into trouble at school.
Before his 14th birthday, he was in trouble with the law. Sparked by the desperation he felt in the face of limited options and the pull of the streets, Bobby became a master thief. What started as a way to get a fashionable wardrobe to fit-in at his school became a thrill. “I wasn’t starving and all my needs were met. It was almost like I looked at stealing as a challenge.”
Later, he stole cars and money, and eventually started robbing credit unions. “It was a dangerous time to be young and Black in America, but for me and my friends, it was an exciting time. We felt like we had permission to make our own rules for survival, even when our rules were against the law.”
He went to jail a few times and, once, successfully escaped. Then, after robbing a credit union in June of 1971, he was caught and ultimately sentenced to 25-30 years in prison. While serving time in North Carolina, he played by the rules and joined various groups like the Jaycees, hoping he could get out early on parole. He worked as a cook and as an office assistant.
But after a series of misbehavior accusations, write-ups, and moves between prisons, he was sent to work on the road crew. “I wanted to…assume that if I picked up trash like a good little soldier, then things would go back to the way they were. But those last few months made me feel like it didn’t matter what I did. Something or someone would find a way to drag me back under. Now instead of always saying ‘I hate it here,’ I had a new refrain, ‘I can get out of here.’”
He escaped from prison in November 1977. “We approached the street where I planned to jump off the bus…then as the bus started turning, I pushed open the back door of the bus and jumped out. I landed on my feet and sprinted toward the woods, the shrill sound of the bus alarm ringing in my ears.”
BOBBY’S NEW IDENTITY, LIFE, AND SECRET
He immediately dumped his prison clothes and took a bus to New York City. On the trip, he introduced himself to a fellow passenger as Bobby Love, the name of a friend’s son who had passed away. In the blink of an eye, he went from convict to civilian.
In NYC, Bobby got a place to live and a job as a cook. At work, he met Cheryl, who was much younger than he was and who had also lost a parent (her mother) at the age of nine. The two married, had two daughters and, later, twin boys.
Bobby took and passed a nurse’s aid course, and at times worked two jobs, from 4:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m., to provide for his family and send his children to private school. All the while, he kept his past and real identity a secret. “I didn’t have friends I could share my burdens with, and even Cheryl wasn’t privy to my deepest thoughts and fears. I only had myself. I had organized my life that way on purpose. I was in charge, so I was the only one to blame if things went wrong.”
Cheryl always suspected Bobby was holding something back. “I… felt like my husband was keeping a part of himself away from me. The kids said Daddy just liked being alone. My family members thought Bobby was just a solitary type…I couldn’t say, ‘My husband refuses to have his picture taken and doesn’t have any friends,’ and expect sympathy…but it was all part of the reason I felt so frustrated.”
Meanwhile, Bobby didn’t take her to see his family much, and when he did, his siblings acted aloof towards her. Cheryl often had the same dream. “In the dream I was begging Bobby to talk to me. ‘Just tell me the truth, Bobby’, I kept crying. But when Bobby opened his mouth to speak, a long thick white rope, like the kind you would use to anchor a ship, came pouring out of his mouth. And he just stood there trying to talk, but all he could do was pull that rope out of his body…I knew it meant something because I always had it after Bobby and I argued. The arguments were always the same. I’d beg Bobby to open up to me and share what was on his heart and he’d tell me there was nothing wrong. I’d walk away in a huff, then at night I’d have the dream…I felt like a dam had been built around our relationship, but the water behind it was steadily building up and was about to crash through the walls.”
At the end of 2014, Cheryl had gotten to the point where she didn’t know how much longer they could live that way. A few weeks later in January of 2015, the dam broke. “As I was sitting in the kitchen sipping my morning tea, a violent knock on the door brought the change I had asked for.”
BOBBY’S BUST AND ITS BY-PRODUCTS: FAITH, LOVE, AND FORGIVENESS
Bobby and Cheryl were living in Brooklyn, when at 6:30 a.m. on a cold January morning, the FBI and NYPD showed up at their door and demanded to know from Bobby, in front of Cheryl and his children, ‘What is your name? No, what’s your real name?” Bobby’s 38-year-old secret was finally out. His real name was Walter Miller. Bobby was found because he had returned to Greensboro for his brother’s funeral, where he was listed on the program as Bobby Love. A cousin realized that Buddy (as the family had called him) Miller was using a fake name and turned him in for a $2,000 reward. Police confessed to Bobby that after trailing him and observing his upright life, they personally did not want to arrest him.
After being held in Rikers Island in New York for 6 months, Bobby was sent to prison in North Carolina to serve 10 years. Bobby never believed he would be there that long. Over the following months while lawyers worked to get him paroled (on account that he had been a contributing member of society for 30 years and had virtually rehabilitated himself), he spent time praying and reading the Word. He realized how profoundly God had been working in his life all along and made a total commitment to Jesus.
“I lived my life in prison like a man on a mission…Cheryl had given me a Bible back when I was at Rikers, and for the first time in my life, I really started to read it and tried to understand the meaning behind the passages. I dedicated myself to understanding God’s word and His role in my life…I think that’s when I finally began to understand what God can do.”
At the same time, Cheryl drew on her faith in Jesus. “Even though I’d been going to church my entire life, and I never wavered in my belief in God, I had come to a point where my faith was truly called to the test.” She had to come to terms with the fact that Bobby wasn’t who she had thought he was for their entire marriage. “It was me he had lied to all those years. And it was me who had to decide if I could stay with a man who had deceived me and who had committed these crimes, even if they were in the past.”
She was especially worried that people would think she was dumb for not knowing anything for so long and stupid for staying once she did. Her bishop’s wife helped her sort through that. “'Let me ask you something,’ she started. ‘Do you love your husband?’ Yes, I love Bobby. But that’s not even his real name. ‘But who have you lived with for these thirty years. Who is Bobby Love to you?’ Over the course of our lives together, he had tried his best to be a good father, a good provider, and a good husband. Bobby was a human being with flaws. I loved him with his flaws, and I loved the family we built together, with both our flaws. One thing I now knew I had to do, something I knew I could do, was keep loving my husband.”
Bobby told Cheryl it was okay if she chose to leave him, but she fully forgave him and promised that she wasn’t going anywhere. While he was in prison, Bobby and Cheryl wrote letters, exchanged scripture, and talked on the phone every night. Their love deepened like never before. Cheryl and others endorsed Bobby’s self-rehabilitation and testified to his upstanding character in court. A year after his arrest, Bobby was released from prison and returned home to New York, where he legally changed his name.
The whole experience strengthened Bobby’s and Cheryl’s marriage and faith. While Bobby had intended to take his secret to the grave, coming clean has assured him that his identity is not in his name, what he’s done in the past, or in what he’s doing now. He knows that his true identity is in Jesus and that all of his sins are covered by Christ’s blood. Today, he is very open with Cheryl, who has chosen to release all bitterness towards him. Everything in Bobby’s past has been completely redeemed by love and forgiveness, and he is truly free.
