Escape from Pain Becomes Chaotic Trap

“I just knew they were touching me. And that’s what they said we were supposed to do.   But I wasn’t allowed to tell nobody, you know.  It was our little secret.   He told me he was tickling me.   You know, I’ve been married three times and it’s been the same thing. It’s just the way the world is. It’s all about sex, it’s not about really loving somebody,” Misty remembers sadly.  

Misty grew up in a blended family in southern Florida. She says her stepfather was kind, but her mom never gave her what she craved.

“Always distant,” she says.  “My mother, she would lose control and hit on me.  Just maybe ‘I love you’ every once in awhile. Maybe a hug. That would’ve been nice. Yeah, that would’ve been nice.”

What love Misty did receive often came in a twisted form. One of Misty’s family members began molesting her when she was just seven. By the time she was 11, he was having sex with her.

“Well see back then, I didn’t know it was abusing,” she recalls.  “Because he didn’t beat me rape me. It was coerced me, you know, ‘You’re beautiful. I love you. This is what we’re supposed to do.’”

By then, another family member had also started molesting her. Still, Misty bought into the lies that it meant she was loved.

“A child that young, and wanting to be loved, and you want to believe it’s true.”  

Misty remembers hearing in her seventh grade sex-ed class that it wasn’t love – but sexual abuse. She told both of her abusers to leave her alone. They did eventually, but the damage had been done.

“I felt betrayed.  I knew I had nobody to talk to. You know, nobody at all. Nobody would believe me. They still don’t,” Misty says.  

At 16, Misty got married, and a year later, became pregnant.  That’s when someone told her mother that misty “had slept with” a family member.

“And my mom threw me against the wall and started choking me. And that threw me into labor and that’s when I had my first son.”

Misty’s young family struggled financially. So she and her husband agreed that she could make good money as a stripper. For Misty, it became much more than that.

“I thought it was the greatest thing in the world,” she remembers.  “The attention. I loved the attention.  I wanted to be desirable.  And so that’s why stripping was amazing to me, you know. I was desired. “

She also started using cocaine and before long, crack -- which became an addiction.

“So I tried it and I was –that’s all it took. I was off and poppin’.  It took away that pain. You know, that pain that I felt all those years.”

Misty soon realized she couldn’t care for her son and do drugs too.

“I felt like if I signed him over, that I would stop, you know, I could get my life back in order so I can get him back,” she explains.  “But giving him up to his aunt didn’t make my life better; it actually was a whirlwind and I went 100% crazier.”

Before long, Misty left her husband for another man. When that fell apart, a friend talked her into something where she could make even more money. It provided more than cash.”
“Oh yeah, there were seven of us – we were all prostitutes. And we loved each other more than anything in this world. We defended each other we were sisters. You know, the love that we had was beyond any love I’ve ever felt in my entire life.  I finally for once in my life I had a family.”

That love – and addiction - are what kept Misty on the streets for seven years, despite all kinds of trouble.

“I was human trafficked twice.  I’ve had guns to my head, I’ve had knives to my throat.  I’ve been dragged up a highway with a guy going about 40 mph till my t-shirt fell off,” Misty recounts.  

The only rest from the chaos was the 15 times she landed in jail. While there she read the Bible and learned what she never knew about God.

“That He saves people. Like He’s love.  The things that He’s done for other people in the Bible—that was love, you know, and that’s the kind of love I was seeking, you know, the unconditional love. “

In her last stint on the streets, Misty became pregnant. She was desperate to get off crack but knew she wouldn’t unless she was sent back to jail.  So she so she robbed a man at knifepoint and turned herself in. She prayed the judge would send her to rehab.

“I wanted my child. I wanted my life back. I wanted my other son back.,” she says.  “I said so you won’t see me ever again. And he gave me the chance. God must’ve been speaking to him too.”   

“I just remember saying,” I just remember saying thank you.  Thanks for listening to my prayer.”

While at rehab, Misty came to fully understand her need for Jesus. Soon she gave Him her life.

“Jesus played in every part.  That’s how I know He loves me -  He saved me.  It means everything. It means that I would just want to follow Jesus. I want to follow Him every day of my life,” Misty says sincerely.  

In time Misty was given a place to live and help finding a job. She soon reconciled with her first son, and eventually came to the point of forgiving her abusers.

“I will never forget, but I have forgiven. Yeah, God forgave me a long time ago.  It’s helped me live a better life. It’s helped me to love my kids more and greater than I thought I ever could. “

Misty supports them by running a successful commercial cleaning company. Though her family relationships are still strained, she looks to God as the source of love.

“It has turned my whole entire life around. It’s given me peace, serenity, salvation.  ‘God took you out of slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, and put your feet on a solid rock,’ she says, quoting Psalm 40:2.  “And that’s what He did. He put my feet on a solid rock. “