Couple Makes Marriage Last Through Addiction

Steve and Melissa know redemption and hope the tough way – after surviving separate drug addictions while married to each other.

Melissa recalls, “I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My dad was a raging alcoholic. And he abused my mom. They divorced when I was in 6th grade. I started drinking, even started doing cocaine, 9th-10th grade. And I quit high school and I got married at 17 in Vegas. And that lasted three months.”

Steve says, “By the time I was 16 years old I was a licensed AMA professional motor cross racer. And it’s a very technical sport. One little mishap here, one little turn there can put you in grave danger! It’s a rollercoaster ride and it is a parallel to me life. I started running around with different people, even into marijuana. I noticed that I really started changing the person I wanted to become.”

In 2001, the cycle of drinking and marriage continued for Melissa, saying, “I met my second husband when I was 21 in a bar, drinking. Got married. I had my beautiful son. We just kept drinking throughout our whole marriage. Mine escalated. I couldn’t stop in the end. And it ended in a divorce after 14 years.”

Steve remembers, “My first marital relationship was adulterous. She was married. She divorced her husband. We ended up together. I knew from day one it was doomed. Within a year of marriage we were divorced.”

Melissa describes, “The end of my second marriage, our divorce and everything, it about killed me. And I obviously didn’t cope with it well. I was drinking.  My pain was so deep, deep!  I met a guy that said ‘hey, do you want to do some meth?’ And I tried it and I was hooked.”

Steve’s struggles continued, saying, “After my second marriage, I ended up with another girl and there was constant infidelities on her side. Everything just started snowballing out of control. Started with pain pills. The addiction became worse. Within four months I was a full-blown heroin addict. I was in and out of jail. Ended up living under a bridge, wherever I could land. It was such a cold, dark time in my life.  I’d lost all hope.”

Melissa then met Steve in 2007, saying, “I found somebody who was stronger than I was.”

Steve remembers, “It was on the fourth of July, her boyfriend’s brother asked me if I wanted to go party. So we showed up and out walks Melissa! And I was just in awe of how beautiful she was!”

Melissa says, “And we were both shooting up! I felt like I lost my son because he didn’t want to talk to me. There was nothing left to live for. And so I just medicated. Meth makes you not care at all.”

Steve recalls, “I was so high out of my mind I didn’t know what to do. So I ended up in jail. In that cell by myself I realized I wanted to give myself to God. I fell to my knees and I asked God’s forgiveness. God put a picture into my heart of what my life was going to turn into with Melissa.”

Melissa says, “We got married and we had Stevie. And he told me about the vision that God gave him.”

With Steve now out of jail and growing in his new-found faith both he and Melissa confronted their addictions! “I hit my rock bottom”, Melissa explains, “I begged God to please, please take this addiction from me. And He did! The next morning I had no craving. Nothing ever since! And it’s been almost six years! So God is amazing!”

Steve describes his moment as “a beautiful, sunny day and I followed my dog out all the way across into a cemetery. I ended up at the statue of Jesus. Fell to my knees. Cried and prayed and begged to change my life, please take this addiction away. Everything started coming together, put addiction behind me and I was moving on.”

Melissa is grateful, saying, “I thank Him everyday for everything He’s done for us!  Because that’s a miracle, two addicts getting clean and sober together and staying together. After thirty years of addiction I thought there was no hope for me at all!

Steve is also emphatic in his gratitude, adding, “Everything that I have to this day I owe to God. Because I could not stay clean and sober two days without God’s help! Not until I went through all the things I went through and God entered my life did I really understand or know what love really even meant.”

Melissa says, “God is my everything! He saved me from the pit of hell, made me into a new person. He’s the father I never had. And I can trust Him. I finally realized that somebody loves me and it’s Him, our Father in Heaven.  I can do anything with Him by my side.” 

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