Courageous Wife Saves Her Marriage Through Fierce Love

THE START OF DEATH
On October 14, 2014, Shauna’s husband, Micah, told her he didn’t want to be married anymore. He told her he was not happy, he was not attracted to her, nor had he been for years and he did not love her. Shauna was blindsid-sighted.  They had been married nearly ten years when she received this devastating news. She cried for three days straight. “I was heartbroken. My world was shattered,” recalls Shauna. She cried out to God, “Please give me one thing I can focus on!” God gave her two words: Endure, Hope. Immediately, Shauna’s mind went to 1 Corinthians 13, The Love Chapter. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor. 13: 4-8) In the days and weeks ahead, Shauna would come to depend on these words as the source of her life.  

God instructed Shauna to love Micah His way, not any way she was used to, and not based on feelings. Two weeks after Micah asked for a divorce, he told Shauna he was having an affair. Instantly she felt sick, but then the nausea passed and she felt a strange peace. She focused her mind on the scriptures God had placed in her heart. These scripture verses became a road map for her to ensure that her reactions with lined up with God’s standard.

Micah stayed in the home during this time. However, he was not remorseful for his words or actions. He didn’t want to leave the kids, but said he felt nothing for Shauna. “My husband was saying our marriage was over even as God was saying something else,” shares Shauna.

Shauna says, “I was not in denial of the messy reality that I saw before me. But I had been directed to have hope, and to endure and to love.” There were times when Micah would swear at her and yell or slam the door in her face and leave. It was difficult to love Micah during those times but Shauna clung to the directions God gave her. She became desperate for God’s reassuring presence to carry her through the emotional chaos she was enduring.

In the midst of her heartbreak something beautiful happened --  she changed. Although Shauna had known God since she was a little girl, she never knew Him as a constant friend. His nearness to her during this difficult time was overwhelming. God’s presence soothed and healed her. He gave her strength to face Micah and love him. It frustrated and confounded him, and it started to change him.

One day while talking to God about her frustration with Micah’s indifference in their marriage Shauna wrote down in her journal the words “blatant indifference.” She was referring to the lack of emotion her husband had shown her regarding their ten-year marriage. God revealed a staggering truth to Shauna, “You confess with your mouth that you love me, but you are acting toward me just like Micah acts toward you.” Although it hurt to hear those words, Shauna says she stopped feeling so hurt by what Micah had done to her and instead felt burdened about her lazy and passive attitude had hurt God. “I had to be reborn,” says Shauna. Despite the terrible circumstances she was enduring she was thankful God revealed her complacency in their relationship and she began to pursue God with her whole heart.

TURNING POINT
Micah came from a very troubled childhood. His mother was a drug addict. As a little boy, he had perfected the skill of building up walls to escape all the horrors of that life. As he built up walls, he would learn to escape to a place where he would feel nothing. To avoid feelings of failure, rejection, and sadness he retreated into survival mode. As an adult, he probably reverted back to this behavior when he dealt with disappointments in his marriage.  

In the fight for her marriage, Shauna found herself in spiritual warfare. She and family and friends all prayed for Micah during this time, even against demonic activity that was identified. Afterwards things started progressing at a much faster pace for their marriage. Micah began to believe restoration in their marriage was possible. He began searching for God more fiercely. The apathy and numbness he had suffered with before was gone and replaced with new life. He was set free. Soon after this turning point, Micah gave Shauna her wedding ring back during a frazzled mommy moment. Shauna was thankful the moment finally arrived. When she first began to pray for Micah, all she wanted was her husband back. She didn’t even think to ask for a better husband. “When God restores something, He doesn’t return it to how it was; He restores it to its original intent, how He dreamed it up,” reveals Shauna. Today Micah is a changed man, not only in his relationship with Shauna, but his children and in his relationship with God. “We have an obligation to sit before God and listen to what He says about our story. He is the author of our story, not us,” shares Shauna.