The Fullness of a Poured-Out Marriage

UNEXPLAINABLE PLANS
In July 2018, Jonathan and Wynter had just moved from Dallas to Nashville and celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary.  Less than a month later, Jonathan sent in the final manuscript for their latest book.  Four hours later, Wynter’s heart stopped beating and she passed into eternity.  Heartbroken and bewildered, the Pitts family remain hopeful, knowing they will see her again.  “We had written the book over the course of 2017/2018 and I turned it in at 3:45 pm on July 24,” says Jonathan.  “It was traumatic but there’s no doubt that God took her.”  He says that as believers God gives us grace to live in our circumstances.  “The thing I’ve experienced through the extreme sorrow is the presence and comfort of the Holy Spirit,” says Jonathan.  

Before, when their publisher asked them to write a book on marriage, Jonathan felt that they were stepping into a new season of marriage.  “As a husband and wife, we had grown together,” says Jonathan.  “We had a sense of accomplishment and truly believed that God was going to work through our story to reach others who might identify with our journey.”  They came from different backgrounds and when they first started dating, it was their faith in Jesus that was the glue that bound them together.  Jonathan always knew he was different having grown up as a bi-racial kid in southern New Jersey.  His parents were Christians and Jonathan’s most vivid memories of his parents is of them giving, not taking.  Jonathan’s ideas about marriage were shaped by the models his parents gave him.  Wynter was a city girl and raised in Baltimore, MD by her single mom.  Marriage for Wynter was seen at a distance.  Despite the many things they lacked, their family’s faith in Jesus drove their actions.  

“We weren’t perfect, but we were intentional,” says Jonathan.  “We had a 15-year, 27-day journey and I know how special what we had was.”  He says our attitudes play a huge role in our relationships.  Jonathan reminds us of Philippians 2:7 where Jesus “emptied Himself.” “Jesus emptied himself of every reason and everything that would stop Him from completing His mission,” says Jonathan.  He says we need to do the same thing in marriage.  “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us,” says Jonathan. “It’s His power alone that gives us the strength to continue the journey of dying daily for each other.”

EMPTIED
Jonathan shares a story about while they were engaged, he was trying to tell Wynter how important it was for him to be physically fit.  In his effort to drive home his point, Jonathan told Wynter he wouldn’t love her if she gained weight!  “It was not my goal to hurt,” he says.  “But I released a poison that not only ruined the moment but put a stain on our engagement.  Even more, it became a dagger in the side of my wife.”  Being emptied in marriage is a mind-set.  “It’s about our ability to have an altogether different mind that what we believe we want in our natural state of being,” says Jonathan.  Early and often God reminded Jonathan how little he had to offer Wynter and how much Jonathan needed God Himself.  “I found myself broken, over and over, realizing that what I was bringing to the table wasn’t enough. In this place, I realized this was exactly where God wanted me. Broken. Surrendered.”

God offers us the opportunity to be transformed.  “He is inviting us on a journey of having our minds renewed,” says Jonathan.  Being filled with the patterns of this world in in contrast to being transformed and renewed in our minds.  “We must come to a place of surrendering those patterns and being emptied to them to be filled with the very thing that will bring about God’s will.”