God is in the Middle of the Mess

EXPOSING DARKNESS
Sheila Walsh has suffered from depression since she was a little girl. She is not alone. According to the World Health Organization (2017) over 300 million people are now living with depression. Sheila shares her deepest pain and opens up for the FIRST TIME about her lifelong struggle with suicidal thoughts. Her message: GOD IS FOR YOU! By sharing her darkest moments and giving practical tools to move through the sadness, Sheila hopes others will experience joy, as children of God, who are fully known and fully loved.

Sheila explains, “Talking about my lifelong struggles with different aspects of mental illness was tough but I believe it’s time to shine the brightest light into the darkest corners of the Church. We don’t talk about things like this, yet millions suffer.” Life is messy but Sheila reminds us that our mess is never too messy for God. When her son, Christian was only 18-months-old, they were in the airport when Christian whispered, “Mommy, I’ve wet myself. Will you cover me?’ What he’d said to me was, ‘I trust you, Mom. You are my safe place.’” Sheila had an epiphany: Jesus is our safe place and we can go to Him when we are at our worst without embarrassment. In addition, “We need to know what we can do right now, right where we are, to find the strength we need through those messes to the other side.” For those suffering with pain or depression, Sheila believes that prayer, exercise, diet, counseling, community, and medication (if instructed by doctor) are all tools to help with day-to-day living.

LIFE IS MESSY
Sheila Walsh learned from an early age that life is messy. She adored her father but life took a dramatic turn when her father suffered a brain aneurism.

“I was very much a daddy’s girl. You could hardly get a thread between us. We went to bed one night and everything was wonderful and normal but the next day life would never be the same again. During the night, my father had a massive brain aneurism and was taken off to intensive care. After a few weeks my dad came home, he was paralyzed on the left side and could only make sounds.”

Her father began to take his anger out on her by spitting in her face or pulling chunks of her hair out. One night, while playing with her sister, Sheila heard her dog growl and looked behind her, her father had his cane raised ready to bring it down on her head. Sheila tried to defend herself and her father fell to the ground. In that moment, life would never be the same. Her father was taken to the asylum where he escaped and ran to the river to drown himself. Sheila blamed herself for his death and could not wrap her five-year-old brain around how her father previously loved her and then tried to kill her. The pain inflicted by her earthly father left a wound that Sheila would spend years trying to fix herself. After coming to Christ, Sheila still tried to hide her pain and pretend that all was well until she came to the end of herself. There, she realized that only her Heavenly Father could truly bring the comfort and peace she needed in the middle of her mess. Now, she encourages others not to be afraid of their brokenness.  Rather, to bring it to God who is big enough to help them through it.