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Author Marci Mason’s Life “Beyond the Pain” of Divorce

Marci graduated college and met Derrick through mutual friends.  They got engaged and were planning their wedding while he was waiting to see if he was selected in the 1997 NFL draft.  Once he was drafted to play for the Tennessee Titans, they married and moved to Nashville.  In the beginning, they had to live modestly but soon the NFL contracts and bonuses increased.  Their lives were evolving; time began to test the foundation and values within their hearts.  After they started having children, Marci gave up her management position to stay at home with the kids.  She plunged headfirst into the well being of her family and began to serve Derrick’s needs.  “I forgot about my visions and passions,” says Marci.  “I handled everything to keep him focused on his career while mine died within me.”

Their marriage was highlighted in articles and described them as a loving Christian family.  Some labeled them as a good example of what the word family looked like.  They graced covers of magazines and participated in family-centered events.  Privately, they had family nights every Friday.  Derrick signed with the Baltimore Ravens in 2005 and the family moved to Maryland.  All seemed well.  Then, at one point in their marriage, Marci discovered he had mistresses.  “When reality hit me, I was devastated,” says Marci.  She prayed, tried counseling, and even called on his closest friends and spiritual leaders to no avail.  Eventually the pressure became too much.

When Derrick stopped eating dinner at the table and stopped participating in family night, Marci knew it was time to do something different.  “I didn’t want my kids to think this we okay.  If it’s not fixable, then we needed to do something.”  Derrick didn’t want a divorce but with no apparent changes, he moved out in 2008 and got an apartment in downtown Baltimore.  Their divorce was final in 2011.

PRETTY POINT

Marci says there is healing after divorce or a bad breakup.  “As painful as it was, I knew my God was bigger.  He didn’t bring me this far to leave me,” says Marci.  I knew eventually I would be okay.”  She started quiet time in prayer.  “I knew I would find purpose in my pain.”  A couple years later, Marci sat down and tried to write a book.  “I was still bitter and angry,” she says.  No matter how difficult it was, Marci was determined to be a productive parent.  She says the divorce shattered her confidence and she needed to learn how to let go and move forward.  “We much change or refocus our thoughts,” says Marci.  “We have to regain our confidence and be reminded of our pretty point.”  Marci refers to the pretty point as the point in our minds and hearts that believes we are valuable.

For a time, Marci looked at her marriage as a loss.  “I had lost time, my career, respect for the relationship and my family,” she says.  “But God began to show me all the things that He had saved.”  She changed the way she looked at things.  “I realized I hadn’t lost as much as I thought,” says Marci.  She gained clarity, a lot of experience, her independence to pursue her purpose and a second chance to find true love.  “I had to take everything I’d gone through and move it into my purpose,” she says.  She reminds us to look over all of the pain we’ve endured and draw a lesson from it.  We can use the lessons to better ourselves and help others.  “Please don’t relish in the sob story,” says Marci.  “But begin to create a glory story!”

Marci runs her company, takes care of her children and speaks to women across the country.  She was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes when she was 19 and is also an activist for the American Diabetes Association.

Mentioned in the Video

Guest Info

Guests
Credits

Author, Beyond the Pain, (2015)

Speaker

Activist for American Diabetes Association

Founder Marci Mason Media, LLC

Graduated: University of Detroit Mercy

Children: Bailee and Derrick

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