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The 700 Club - June 8, 2011

Terry Caffey survived a murder plot that was orchestrated by his daughter and Ron Deal shares wisdom on how to be a smart stepdad.


A home invasion. The loudest sound that you can ever imagine. A man's wife and two sons perish. I took several rounds up the arm. And his own daughter is one of the culprits. When I heard that, I just lost it. Well, welcome to this edition of The 700 Club. It's hot. It is hot out there. It's going to get hotter. I know, right? East coast, part of the Midwest, having an unseasonable heat wave. We're going to talk about that. And, I think, don't do yard work. I did. I mowed my lawn last night, like a crazy chick. But listen, it needs to be done, and I waited until it got kind of cooler. Well, don't do anything today or tomorrow. I won't, trust me. I shouldn't even be working right now, it's so hot. Well. Anyway, temperatures climbed to 103 degrees in Minneapolis Tuesday and set a 23-year high. Can you believe it? Well, Efrem Graham has that story. That severe Minneapolis heat is now headed for the New England area, and summer doesn't officially begin until June 21st, about two weeks away. It's so hot that the devil stopped me and asked me for a ride. It's just that hot. For some, laughter is the only break from the unseasonable heat wave that has Philadelphia schools shutting down early, so students can beat the scorching heat. Tomorrow sounds like it's going to be a killer. The heat is killing roads in the Midwest, where streets are buckling from Minnesota to Mississippi. It's usually on a joint where two pieces have come together, usually is where it happens. Forecasters predict this heat emergency could last for days. And as temperatures climb above 100 degrees, so do the number of calls to Minnesota air conditioner repair shops. We can't answer the phones fast enough. That's the way it goes right now. It hasn't been this hot in Chicago in five years. And it's a one-two punch in Sioux City, Iowa, where residents are still dealing floods and now the heat. It makes it really hard, because we're out here all the time sandbagging. Today's warm weather watches, alerts, and advisories are posted across the northeast and parts of the Midwest. Efrem Graham, CBN News. Thanks, Efrem. We recommend, by the way, that the word is that in Philadelphia and New York, possibly Washington, the temperature will hit 100 degrees today and tomorrow. It's going to be terribly hot, so please stay indoors. Be careful, because the heat index is going to be just absolutely scorching. Well, let's turn from the domestic to the biggest terrorist threat to the United States. It may not come from Iran or Afghanistan, but instead from a little country called Yemen. As far back as 2009, CBN News reported that Yemen was dangerously unstable and a safe haven for al Qaeda. Erick Stakelbeck has this look at what's happening in Yemen and how it could affect you and me. Al Qaeda is on the move in Yemen. The terror group violently seized the town of Zinjibar in southern Yemen late last month, declaring it the capital of its Islamic emirate. And Zinjibar might only be the beginning. Embattled Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh fled to Saudi Arabia for medical treatment after being seriously wounded in a rocket attack on his compound last week. It's unclear whether he will return to Yemen. He left behind a nation on the brink of anarchy as warring tribes and Islamic jihadists seek to take advantage of the growing chaos. When you look at the indicators throughout Yemen, they're all pointing in the wrong direction. It's a country that's running out of oil. It's running out of water. Saana is predicted to be the first waterless capital in the world before the end of this coming decade. You have high rates of unemployment. Then there is Yemen's al Qaeda problem. Spearheaded by American-born cleric Anwar al Awlaki, al Qaeda's Yemen branch has had a hand in several recent attacks on US soil, including the Fort Hood massacre, the attempted Christmas Day underwear bombing, and a plot to blow up cargo planes bound for the US. Now US officials fear that as Yemen descends into further unrest, al Qaeda fighters there will be much tougher to track as they continue to make their plans to strike America, Pat. Thanks, Erick. Now, Erick, what are the chances that al Qaeda or other radical Islamists will actually take control of Yemen? Pat, I think in the long term, there is a very good chance that al Qaeda could come to power in that country. Now, in the short term, al Qaeda is very smart. They're very savvy. They're very patient. They know if they seize large areas of the country right now that Saudi Arabia, Yemen's neighbor to the north, could very well get involved. Remember, the Saudis entered Bahrain when it looked like Bahrain was teetering on the brink about two months ago. They could do the same in Yemen. So al Qaeda is smart. They will lay in wait. They're patient. Pat, I'm also keeping an eye on Iran. No one has mentioned the Iran factor in Yemen. There is a radical Shiite population in Yemen. They're called the Houthis. Iran has been funding them. And when Iran sees these chaotic situations, just like al Qaeda, they can't help but take advantage, Pat, especially when there is a Shia element present like there is in Yemen. You have pointed out a guy that we hadn't thought too much about, Anwar al Awlaki. And yet he is rising to prominence. Will he be the main player in Yemen if al Qaeda takes over? Absolutely, Pat. This guy is so dangerous for so many reasons, and you and I have talked about him a lot here on the Club. This is a guy who was born in America, spent 20 years of his life here, born in New Mexico, educated at Colorado State University, of all places, fluent in English, Pat. And that's what makes him so dangerous. That's how he was able to connect with the Fort Hood shooter, with the attempted Times Square bomber. He had a hand in the underwear bomber last Christmas Day. He breaks down that English language barrier, which enables him from his Yemen base to connect with Islamic jihadist American citizen's right here on US soil. I've pointed out a narrow little waterway, the Bab al-Mandab. Apparently, if there is a possibility of sinking a freighter as it comes across there, those freighters are very slow, and it wouldn't take much to bring one down and actually stop the flow of oil, three million barrels a day. Could you talk about that? Pat, it really wouldn't. And, look, we need to look no further than the USS Cole incident, September 2000. Eighteen US soldiers were killed off the coast of Yemen. This is fertile ground for al Qaeda in those waterways, as you mentioned, Pat. Another interesting thing here, the Gulf of Aden, separates Yemen and Africa. You could see al Qaeda fighters transiting between Yemen and Somalia, which is another al Qaeda hotbed right across the Gulf of Aden. And we know the Somali pirates' activities off the coast of Somalia. We could conceivably see a lot of problems in those waterways off the coast of Yemen as well. Great point. Three million barrels of oil a day could be interdicted. It's very, very serious. Well, Erick we appreciate you being with us. Follow that. We want to watch it very closely, because I know it's important to all of us. Thank you so much. Will do, Pat. Thank you. Well, Wendy Griffith has the rest of our top stories from the CBN Newsroom. Wendy, what do you have? Pat, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke says Washington urgently needs to take care of its massive debt so the US economy can be healthy in the future. Bernanke also says the current economic recovery is weak, but he expects it to keep going without any serious outbreak of inflation. Overall, the economic recovery appears to be continuing at a moderate pace albeit at a rate that is both uneven across sectors and frustratingly slow from the perspective of millions of unemployed and underemployed workers. Bernanke says higher gas prices and the crisis in Japan have been some of the reasons the economy has slowed down. But he expects it to pick up again later in the year. Do you think he's right, Pat? No, I don't think he's right. Of course, he's head of the Federal Reserve. But I think all the bullets are out of his gun. He fired all the stimulus shots he's got. He's got the interest rate down to zero, at least the short term bank lending rate. And it just seems like what's going to happen? Well, the administration is clueless about what to do about jobs. They have hammered away at the productive sector over and over and over again. And people don't trust the president. And as a result, they don't trust the future, and they don't trust hiring. No business is going to lay out a lot of money to train workers in an economy that's going to collapse. And that's what they're dealing with right now. And it's going to come back to haunt the president at the next election. "It's the economy, stupid." Wendy. Pat, President Obama's health care law is back in court today. Twenty-six states are represented in the case against the law. The administration is appealing a Florida court's ruling that found vast portions of it to be unconstitutional. A three judge panel of the 11th US Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta is hearing the case. Analysts expect an appeal to the Supreme Court no matter which side wins. Conservative and urban church leaders have come together to form a new communion 1,000 churches strong. Paul Strand tells us how they plan to be fiercely evangelistic, politically relevant, and form congregations of great influence in the world. Urban church members tend to vote Democrat, even if some of their leaders don't see it being in the best interest of their communities. These leaders believe their new group, the International Communion of Evangelical Churches, or ICEC, can realign urban believers and spark economic, even spiritual revival. Urban America, there's a blight on the land. We have got generations of young people that have family breakdown. We have all kind of issues of poverty in the land. And the Gospel in foreign nations always brings an economic lift, moral standards. And so we believe America may be on the verge of another great awakening. Where liberal groups like the National Council of Churches have tended to dominate mainline urban denominations, this communion hopes to educate Christians in the power of conservative values. Reverend Aubrey Shines has studied what happens when congregations go into voting booths with more education about candidates and issues. What we found to be interesting was that the more information they had, the more conservative in their views they became. I remember the first time I ever voted for president, I voted for Ronald Reagan. And I remember my father calling me "Reagan's boy" and "Uncle Tom" and even in my own family. But it took to almost the death of my father; he became conservative at the end. He understood the principles that he taught me were always conservative principles. This communion will speak out on political issues, but puts evangelism first. We're a combined communion of about a thousand churches. We'll start more. We'll assimilate more. So our combined efforts with crusades in the nations, with teaching members of our churches to evangelize, not just be a secretary, not just be a lawyer, but wherever you are, you're salt and light to bring people to Jesus. Paul Strand, CBN News, Washington. Looks like a very interesting group, Pat. Well, Harry Jackson is a fabulous guy, and he's spearheading that, along with other enlightened leaders. But there has been a lockstep along the way, and I think the Democrats are taking all the black people for granted. And the next election may prove that they shouldn't do that, because these people are waking up. I think the bottom line is black, white, green, or yellow, it's all about really being informed to the issues and to know what each candidate stands for and what each party stands for. And so you're informed, because you've been here for so long. I am informed, because I am forced to. Be informed, or else. All right, what's next? Or else. Well, up next, do you have a chip on your shoulder, or are you that one person who is always nursing a grudge? Well, if so, did you know that you could actually be sick? Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety, produces adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body's foot soldier in the fight against cancer. How the power of forgiveness can actually protect your body from disease. That's coming up next on The 700 Club. Then later, we're going to Bring It Online with your questions for Pat, so all you have to do is log on to CBN.com, hit our chat room, because we want to hear from you. Still ahead . . . . . . . . a home invasion. The loudest sound that you could ever imagine. A man's wife and two sons perish . . . . I took several rounds up the arm. . . . . and his own daughter is one of the culprits. When I heard that, I just lost it. Have you ever heard the expression "good as gold?" Well, gold is on everybody's minds these days, and rightfully so, having risen in value dramatically since 2001. For years now, I've been singing the praises of one of the most recognized and trusted names in gold, Swiss America. They believe, like I do, that people need to know what's good about gold. Gold has withstood the test of time, and so has Swiss America. Now is the time to rediscover gold, because gold offers diversification, profit, potential, and best of all, privacy. Call or visit online now and ask for the Pat Boone DVD, and they will gladly rush out a copy along with other information about getting gold into your nest egg. If you're going to buy gold, buy it from a company you can trust. I did. And I've been a satisfied Swiss America customer for over 15 years. They are as good as gold. Call or log on right now. Tomorrow. What is greatness? It's not what you think it is. I float like a butterfly. I sting like a bee. The secret of true greatness. There is no other way. Plus . . . . . . . . a biker with a dream he rode all the way to prison. I'm a convict. I'm a thief. I'm a liar. How letters from a stranger changed his life. I'm reading these letters and saying, "Why would this man be telling me he loves me?" Tomorrow. Jesus Christ told His disciples how to have miracles. You read it in the 11th chapter of Mark's Gospel. It is the classic statement of how to have miracles. It's a layout. At the end of that description, Jesus says, "However, when you stand praying, if you have ought against any, forgive, that your heavenly Father might forgive you." Standing for miracles depends on your ability to forgive other people. If you can believe it, the term unforgiveness is classified as a disease in medical literature. Doctors say it makes people sick and keeps them sick. On the other hand, forgiveness therapy is being used to help treat diseases like cancer. Lorie Johnson brings us this remarkable story. Jayne Valseca might not be here today if she hadn't learned to forgive. When she and her husband Eduardo were in Mexico, he was kidnapped and tortured while Jayne negotiated his release. She describes the ordeal in her book, We Have Your Husband. And I knew that the stress could be taking a huge toll on my immune system. After eight months Eduardo was released, but now Jayne had to fight for her life. I was almost not surprised, yet still completely devastated to hear the words, "You have stage four breast cancer." Jayne prayed for healing even though doctors gave her a death sentence. I did collect more information, and in one of the books that I read, I read about Cancer Treatment Centers of America. And I thought, "Wow, that sounds like a fantastic place." Jayne added forgiveness therapy to her cancer treatment with Dr. Michael Barry, a pastor and author of the book The Forgiveness Project. Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety. Chronic anxiety very predictably produces adrenaline and cortisol which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body's foot soldier in the fight against cancer. Dr. Barry's research on cancer patients showed 61 percent had forgiveness issues, and more than half of those were severe, like Jayne's. She was consumed with revenge against her husband's kidnappers. Forgiveness therapy begins with putting to rest three myths: forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation; it doesn't condone bad behavior; and it does not stop the pursuit of justice. Jayne's path to forgiveness included writing a letter to her enemies, praying for them, and, amazingly, finding empathy for them. I saw the kidnappers as babies. And I took them one by one forward in time in an imaginary scenario that I had created, going through things that I thought they could probably have gone through in order to get to where they got to do the things that they do, and to do what they did to me and to my family. And it was then that I immediately felt this huge sense of relief. It was as if this huge ton of bricks, this weight of the world, was instantly lifted from my shoulders. When a person forgives from the heart, which, of course, is the gold standard that we use in Matthew 18, forgiveness from the heart, we find that they are able to find a sense of peacefulness. Quite often our patients refer to that as a feeling of lightness. Lorie, we don't realize what a burden anger and hatred is until we let it go. In medical literature, unforgiveness is classified as a disease, which is defined as "some process that overwhelms normal function." Cancer surgeon Dr. Steven Standiford puts it this way, "Unforgiveness makes people sick and keeps them sick." It's important to treat emotional wounds or disorders, because they really can hinder someone's reactions to the treatments, even someone's willingness to pursue treatment. In case you're wondering about Eduardo, well, he's always had a positive outlook. I love life. I love my family. I love food. I love everything. So I really don't have time to think about these criminals too much. I don't want to take my time, whatever I have left to be on this beautiful planet, to think about negativity. Eduardo, Jayne, and Dr. Barry shared a stage with President Obama recently. They were honored at the Hispanic Prayer Breakfast for their living testimony of the power of forgiveness. Lorie Johnson, CBN News. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that is the most important thing. If you hold a grudge against somebody, it doesn't hurt that other person. You can say, "Well, I just hate them." Well, tough luck. Who are you hurting? You're hurting yourself. You're not hurting them. Your anger isn't hurting the person that you're angry with. It's only hurting you. So why not forgive? And that's what Jesus said is the key to miracles. And the other thing that I've found in terms of cancer is that grief, severe grief, shocks the immune system, and people, many, many times after a tragic illness or a divorce or some tragedy in a person's life, they develop cancer, because they don't have a will to live. And so we have to have a positive attitude. Our mental state or our spiritual state affects our bodies. They call it psychosomatic, but it's true. The psuche, the soul, soma, the body, they work together. So you don't have any grudge against anybody, do you? No, I don't. And you know what's so cool, too? As you were sitting there talking, I was thinking there are probably a lot of people who want to forgive, they just don't know how. They don't have the ability to or they feel that they don't. But you can always say, "Lord, I'm having a hard time, but will you forgive this person through me?" And God will do that. God will give you that gift to forgive through Him. I think the biggest thing is not to so much pray for forgiveness. It's to pray for God to bless them, to get on the positive side of blessing, so that your prayers, you say, "I want my prayer to be answered, therefore I'm praying that God will bless that individual," instead of saying, "Oh, God, keep me from being hateful." Yes. It's different. It's a positive rather than a negative. We'll talk more about this as the program continues, but it's good advice. Thank you, Lorie. It's great advice. And I forgive you, Pat, for all the times that you've harassed me or joked me. All right. Just kidding. Well, it's made you a stronger person, hasn't it? It has. All right, I'm going to transition to a different story, and it's a sad story. Coming up, we have a family. His entire family was gone. In fact, his whole home burned down to the ground. Terry Caffey had nothing left until he found a note in the ashes. When I read those words it just brought me to my knees, and I remember just falling to me knees and began to weep to God. God had just sent me a message. Find out what that message was, when we come back. This dining set is almost $1700. This dining set? Less than 1100. This living room over $4600. The same living room, 3500. It's not a sale. It's not a closeout. It's a whole new way two buy over one million products for your home all at huge savings. That's DirectBuy. And right now you can get a 30-day membership free, so you can start saving today on virtually everything for your home. Our first project with DirectBuy was our kitchen cabinetry. We save roughly around $27,000. DirectBuy lets you buy without any of the hidden retail markup you'd pay in stores saving you hundreds, even thousands of dollars. Imagine getting this entire room for nearly half of what you would pay in stores. Start saving today. Call now for your free 30-day membership certificate. Don't wait, DirectBuy at 1-800-839-2075, that's 1-800-839-2075. Call today. To listen to our top songs of the week, go to CBN Radio at CBN.com. The Bible says bring up a child in the way that he shall go, and when he's old he will not depart from it. Many of us aren't bringing up our children in the way they should go, and they become rebellious, self centered, and destructive. When Terry Caffey told his daughter that she couldn't see her boyfriend anymore, he thought he was trying to protect her. But late one night as Terry and the rest of the family slept, they became the ones who needed protection instead. March 1, 2008, is a date that will be emblazoned in Terry Caffey's memory forever. About 3:00 in the morning, Penny and I would be awakened to the sound of our door knob hitting our dryer there in the laundry room which was next to our bedroom. Very quickly the gunfire began to erupt, the loudest sound that you could ever imagine. A neighbor called 911. 911 Dispatcher: Rains County 911. What's your emergency? This is Tommy Gaston. I've got a man that's been shot. That evening, Terry lost everything he had. In the early hours of the morning, while Terry and Penny Caffey slept in their home in a rural area near Emory, Texas, two men entered the house and began firing.  I took several rounds up the arm and the shoulder. I took one round in the right cheek, and that round blew out my left ear. That would be the shot that would blow me out of bed. The intruders killed Penny and the couple's two young sons, Matthew and Tyler. They shot Terry five times then set the house on fire. As the flames raged around him, Terry regained consciousness. Once I realized I could not save Penny, I crawled toward to the woods to the back of our house. My closest neighbor was 400 yards away. That was Tommy and Helen Gaston. I knew that if I died right there, something told me that maybe they would get away with it. Somebody had to tell who did this. I remember hearing just kind of a bang, bang on the door. I opened the door and said, "Terry, what's happened?" And my first question was, "What about Penny and the kids?" He said, "They're all dead." The young man who burst into Terry's bedroom that evening was Charlie Wilkinson, a former boyfriend of Terry's 16-year-old daughter, Erin. After Terry was taken to a local hospital, he learned that Erin was alive. When I heard that, I had a sense of hope again, that maybe she needed me, and I need her. Maybe together we'll figure this thing out, what went wrong, what happened. That hope was crushed moments later. My sister told me that, "Erin's been arrested for involvement in the murders." And when I heard that, I just lost it. I remember grabbing at IVs and tubes that were in me, trying to pull them out. The news shocked the community. Those who knew Erin say she was a quiet, shy girl, a good student who sang in the Miracle Faith Baptist Church choir. Then she began dating Charlie Wilkinson. We had begun to notice signs in Erin, that she began to not dress like she normally would. The things she was interested in, she wasn't interested in anymore. She seemed to have lost that smile. She had just kind of distanced herself from her youth group and got to where she didn't want to sing at church anymore. One day Erin left a computer on, and Penny saw Charlie's MySpace page, which was filled with profanity and references to alcohol and sex. The Caffeys told their daughter she could not see him anymore. She held her head down low and began to weep, and said, "Daddy, I've been wanting to break up with him for some time, but I just didn't know how to." But some friends say she and Charlie began plotting to either run away or murder her parents, so they could be together. They enlisted two other teens, Charles Wade and his girlfriend, Bobby Johnson, to assist them. In the wee hours of March 1st, after drinking heavily, they decided to follow through with their plans. There's no doubt in my mind that there was a demonic evil presence in my home that night. Terry was eventually released from the hospital and began to put his life back together. He read through the book of Job several times trying to find a purpose in the tragedy. One day, he returned to the site of his former home to salvage any final memories. While walking through the ruins, something caught his eye. It was a page from the novel, Blind Sight, by Christian author James Pence, but Terry believes it was a letter from God.  I went and I stood on the ashes of the place where I'd had a home and raised three children. I was angry. I said, "God, why would you allow this? How would you let something like this happen? Why am I still here? I just don't understand all of this." And no sooner than I said that prayer or had that thought, I looked over, about five feet away, and there was a piece of paper stuck to the base of a tree. When I read it, they were the words I had just spoken to God. "I couldn't understand why you would take my family and leave me behind to struggle along without them. And I guess I still don't totally understand that part of it. But I do believe that you are sovereign. You're in control." And when I read those words, it just brought me to my knees. And I remember just falling to my knees, and I began to weep to God. God had just sent me a message. For the first time since the murders, he felt at peace. Basically, what He said was, "Terry I'm not going to give you all the answers right now." I may not have all the answers ever. But what He did tell me is that, "Terry, I've got your life in the palm of my hands." As the trial approached, Terry knew he would have to forgive his daughter and the other teens that murdered his family. Of course, they were all blaming one another. The detectives were saying Erin was the mastermind, that she was the evil one. But none of that really mattered to me, because I had chosen that I needed to forgive them. And forgiveness isn't always easy. Terry even petitioned the lawyers trying the case not to seek the death penalty. All four teens pled guilty and received life sentences for their involvement. When Erin's sentencing date came, Terry was right beside his daughter. It just shows you the power of God, what God can do in your life if you just submit to Him and allow Him to work in your life. Terry has since remarried and is now pursuing ministry full time. He feels that God has restored what the enemy had stolen. Terry's account of the murders, Terror by Night, was recently released and was co-authored by James Pence. "When nothing in life makes sense, God is good all the time. When our pain seems too great to bear, God is good all the time. When our world is spinning out of control, God is good all the time. We know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. All the time, God is good." What a message! All the time God is good. Some of you right now may be going through a terrible trial. You've lost a loved one. Somebody has got an incurable disease. You cry out and you say, "God, why, why, why?" Let me tell you something. Romans 8:28 is still in the Bible, and the literal translation is, "God shapes every circumstance together for good to them that love Him." He shapes every circumstance. Everything in your life He will make for good if you just trust Him. But you see, if you harbor resentment and bitterness, you close yourself off to that flow of God's love. And as the love of God moves through you, you'll find healing, you'll find deliverance, you'll find blessing, and you'll find answers to the problems. But right now, some of you are filled with grief, and some of you are filled with hatred. And whichever it is, I want you to pray this prayer with me. I want you to get rid of it. I want you to have a clean start, and I want you to let the power of God flow into your life, because He yearns to do that. Bow your head and pray these words. Don't be afraid. Pray. You can trust the Lord. These words, "Lord God, you know me. You know how I've cried to you because of tragedy that's come into my life. I've asked for answers, and I haven't gotten answers. But right now, Father, I come to you, and I acknowledge that your way is always best. And I receive from you your precious will in my life. And I know that you will work everything together for good, so I affirm now that though you slay me, yet I will trust you, because I know that you're good. And Father, I also say to you now that I forgive those who have injured me, those who have injured my loved ones, those who have brought a bad report against me. I forgive them. In the name of Jesus, I will not hold a grudge. And I ask you to bless them, in Jesus' name. I receive you, Lord, and thank you. Thank you, Lord. Amen. And amen." I'm just grateful, for many of you have just prayed that prayer with me. I have something here, a little booklet called "Forgiveness." It will help you. It will help you get on your way. But listen, let it go, whatever it is. You don't want to get lean and dry in your soul because you're harboring a grudge. "Forgiveness." We'll send this to you free if you just give us a call. Say, "I prayed with Pat. I gave my heart to the Lord. I have given my life to Him, and I am receiving from Him whatever He gives to me. I'm taking it as a blessing." And those of you who want to know more about what He's doing, we have something called "A New Day" that will tell you more explicitly about the walk in Jesus Christ. Pick up the phone and call in: 1-800-759-0700. Say, "I'm free. I am free." Just declare your freedom of any kind of hatred and bitterness: 1-800-759-0700. Kristi. Thanks, Pat. Well, still ahead, when her mom remarried, she called her new dad "Stepman." I was just really hurt by past experiences and then not willing to accept someone else coming into my life as a father figure. So see how that "stepman" actually won her over, later on today's 700 Club. My name is Roger Stump, and I'm a cancer survivor. The surgeon said it's inoperable. "It's already in your liver." My wife, Brenda, sat there and cried; and I'm thinking, "I can't die right now. I'm only 52 years old." I was so distraught. I've heard Cancer Treatment Centers of America have experience with pancreatic cancers. It was like night and day. The hospital just breeds an environment of hope. You get a CT scan, and the next morning the results were read to you. We'd go up there; I just knew it was going to be a good result. You could just see the joy on Dr. Granik's face. Call now and we'll show you how the most compassionate people anywhere put you at the center of everything we do. Together, we'll explore real treatment options you may not even know exist. Cancer Treatment Centers of America. It is such a different place, because they give you hope. I would strongly urge you to call them and get a second opinion. Please call today. Welcome back to The 700 Club. A Virginia school system will re-post copies of the Ten Commandments. Giles County Schools removed the displays back in December after the ACLU threatened legal action. The group says that they violate separation of church and state. But the Giles County School Board members voted three to two to put the commandments back up. The ACLU says they will go forward with plans to file a lawsuit. The mammoth Arizona wildfire is forcing more people from their homes. It's the second largest fire in that state's history. Tuesday afternoon, about 2,000 residents of Eager evacuated as the fire threatened to top the ridges surrounding the town. Several other towns have already been evacuated. Fueled by 60 mile an hour winds, the wildfire has grown to more than 300,000 acres. That's about twice the size of Chicago. It has already consumed about 500 square miles of pine forest and ten structures. Thankfully, no lives have been lost. And you can always get the latest from CBN News by going to our website. That's CBNNews.com. Stop throwing your hard earned cash in the trash. The all new FoodSaver vacuum packaging system with Smartseal technology could save you $2700 a year. Don't waste food with ordinary zipper bags and plastic wrap. The FoodSaver system takes air out and keeps it out, eliminating freezer burn. You can buy in economical bulk sizes knowing the extra stays fresh up to 5 times longer. With it's new upright design and hands-free operation, it has never been easier to keep your food fresh. The FoodSaver system, available wherever small kitchen appliances are sold. My mirrors not my best friend, but we are getting along. As your weight decreases, your confidence increases. I finally got back into my old jeans. I can wear colors. I don't have to wear black. The world is a whole different place. I'm eating Jenny. I have lost 30 pounds, and I'm not stopping here. Join Jenny and lose 10 pounds for only $10 plus the cost of food. Call 1-800-JENNY20. Thank you for letting me be pretty one more time. Well, in the United States, half of all children will actually have a step-parent at some point in their lives. In fact, 90 percent of those children will live with their mother and the step-father. Here is a story of one of those children. Her name is Ashley. As a child, Ashley's biological father walked out on the family. So when her mom met and married Stuart, she wanted nothing to do with her new stepfather. I was not really accepting of him and his position in my life. So I was more of just really hurt by past experiences and then not willing to accept someone else coming into my life as a father figure. That is Stuart knew he had a rough road ahead. I was dealing with walking through a situation where I knew Ashley was not going to warm up to me. It was challenging to try to win her over and still be in her life and discipline her. As a Christian, Stuart constantly prayed for guidance. God was leading me, and I relied on Him heavily. I couldn't have done it without Him. Eventually, Stuart's resolve paid off. As years went by, and she started accepting me, she knew that I was going to be there. I think she started trusting me. As I was growing up, I started realizing how much Stuart had loved us and continued to love us and sacrificed for us and put our needs in front of his. Ashley wrote The 700 Club to let us know how much she appreciates her stepdad. I'd like to share with you what Ashley wrote. She says, "When I was seven, God blessed my sister and I with a man we called ‘stepman.' Back then I was so hurt by my biological father, I couldn't even say stepdad. But for years, ‘stepman' still sacrificed everything for our family. He treated us as his own children and showed us a love that we never deserved. I pray every day that I will one day be blessed with a husband just like my ‘stepman,' who I am now honored to call my dad, the best dad I could ever imagine." Wow! So joining us now to discuss the challenges of being a stepfather is the author of The Smart Stepdad, Ron Deal. Ron, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. It's a pleasure. That wasn't even my story, and I'm sitting here getting choked up at that. It's a tremendous story. Isn't it? Just the fact that a child can change their thought pattern or their behavior, or their heart for a person so drastically. Ashley, she couldn't even call him stepdad, but "stepman." Is that common? It is common. Dad is a very, very special term. You only have one mom and one dad in life. And for a child to figure out what term they're going to use to refer to a step-parent is really an inner task. It's a psychological task. It's a loyalty task. "I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings by calling you my dad or daddy or something similar to that." So oftentimes, kids use a first name to refer to their stepfather. The first time I've heard "stepman," though, I've got to tell you. Right. That was an interesting one. It is. When I think about this scenario, and it's happening so much these days, probably over 50 percent like you said in your book of the families now are blended, and there is a stepfather in the home. What are some of the mistakes that men tend to make when they first enter into the home? I think the biggest mistake that step-parents make, and stepfathers in particular, is make the assumption that attachment is the same. That is, attachment is what affords you the right as a parent to lead your kids. You get automatic trust. You get automatic love with emotional attachment. You get automatic authority as a parent figure. Well, when a stepdad comes on the scene, he doesn't have that automatic attachment. He has to grow that. He has to earn respect. He has to earn their trust. He has to build a relationship with the child that affords him authority in their lives. So what do you do in that tension of, "I'm an adult on the scene, and we've got to get some things done around here," and at the same time, you don't look at me, you don't feel about me the way that you would about a parent. And so that is tenuous. And so oftentimes if a stepdad comes in, the big mistake is, he's going to claim that level of authority. "I'm your dad." I call it playing, "Who's your daddy?" He's going to try to claim that much status in the child's life before the child is ready to give him that much status. It's a big mistake. It just invites conflict. The child goes to mom and complains to mom. Mom kind of says, "Hey, honey, can you back off a little bit?" And he says, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, don't you respect me either?" And you can see how it not only hurts the step-parent, stepchild relationship, eventually it ripples into the couple's relationship and begins to pull them apart, which is one of the reasons the divorce rate for couples in blended families is around two-thirds. There is so much tension that comes around this issue of the step-parent's role in the family. Let's talk about the mom for a moment. She's kind of in a hard place. She loves the husband. She loves her kids. So what can she do to help the situation out and kind of not just keep the balance, but I don't know, kind of walk in the role that she has? It is a difficult place for her, because she does get caught in the middle oftentimes. What mom will tell you is, "I love my kids, and I love my husband. Why can't they love each other?" Right. If they would, then everything would be fine. And so oftentimes, what moms do is they go about orchestrating the togetherness for everybody, trying to coach dad a little bit on how he can find his place in as a stepfather with the kids, talking to the kids. "Well, he didn't really mean it that way, honey." That sort of orchestration is helpful on some level, but my caution to moms is relax. Don't work too hard. Don't push too much. I call that blendering. All right. If she's blendering everybody all the time, then unfortunately it creates a bit of a push back. More resistance comes. If she can relax, if she can love her kids and care for them and continue to be the mom that she needs to be, that's actually very helpful to him as the stepdad. He can relax a little bit on authority issues, because mom is taking care of it. In the meantime, he can just build relationship and get to know them. So when mom relaxes, it kind of helps everybody relax. And they will find their way. What I loved about this piece is that eventually, eventually, the daughter relaxed about him. She softened towards her stepdad. She let him in. In the beginning, she couldn't. But eventually, she did. That is the journey for many stepdads. When you get tense that it's not happening quickly, and you give up, then it all goes down the tube. Yes. I'm going to ask you a personal question real quick, and it's personal from my standpoint, because I'm a single mom. And I'm not married yet, but obviously, one day. Anyway, what can a mom do, or a parent, a divorced parent do to prepare the home for that stepdad to arrive beforehand, before all the drama hits? How can we kind of do preventative measures? Well, couples who are dating, first of all, should slow down. The biggest mistake they can make is a quick dating courtship, quick decision on marriage. When the adults are ready to marry, the kids are far behind. So they need to relax. They need to slow down the process, extend the courtship. That's a big step towards helping everybody get ready. Once a decision has been made, one of the things that a mom could do is to begin to have conversations with her kids. So when we go to the parent-teacher conference next year at school, how are you going to introduce your stepdad? What do you want to call this guy, when you're in public with friends? How would you want him to introduce you to his friends? And so that discussion about terms and names is also about affections. It's also about the role or the place of each person and how they view one another. So when mom has those discussions with her kids, she's preparing them to think about it, to understand it, to get ready for that. We only have one more moment left, but I want to give you the opportunity, basic tips. Basic tips for the stepdad that you can throw out right now, who flipped to the TV and says, "Come on, I've got my pen and paper right now writing it down." Well, let me go back to the video, because that guy did a couple of things right. Number one, he never stopped pursuing his stepdaughter, never stopped even though she was resistant and closed to him. That is discouraging. That is disappointing. A lot of stepdads just quit. They give up. They get defeated. Don't stop. Keep pursuing. Have a persistence about you. The other thing is, just enter their world. Whatever they're interested in, you get interested in. It's a point of connection. Yes. Good to know. Well, we can keep going, but if you want more information, this is where you find it. It's called The Smart Stepdad. And I've got to tell you, it's available wherever books are sold. I already have my copy. And this will be a good thing, whether you're interested in getting married, or you're already there. Whatever it is, it's going to help you out. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I appreciate you. All right, Pat, we're going to hit it over to you. Well, up next, it started with a cup of tea and turned into a booming business. I thought about a tea tag. I would love people to see God's Word, just to have it almost come to them. See how she doubled her business the first year, tripled it the second, after this. What makes the miracles of Jesus even more miraculous? Standing where they happened, in Israel. Come visit Capernaum where Jesus restored a paralytic's helpless legs. Sail the Sea of Galilee where Jesus walked on the water. Stroll through the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus healed a servant's ear. To learn more about standing where it all happened in Israel, visit www.goisrael.com. Come visit Israel. Stop throwing your hard earned cash in the trash. The all new FoodSaver vacuum packaging system with Smartseal technology could save you $2700 a year. Don't waste food with ordinary zipper bags and plastic wrap. The FoodSaver system takes air out and keeps it out, eliminating freezer burn. You can buy in economical bulk sizes knowing the extra stays fresh up to 5 times longer. With it's new upright design and hands-free operation, it has never been easier to keep your food fresh. The FoodSaver system, available wherever small kitchen appliances are sold. Tomorrow . . . . What is greatness? It's not what you think it is. I float like a butterfly. I sting like a bee. The secret of true greatness. There is no other way. Plus . . . . . . . . a biker with a dream he rode all the way to prison. I'm a convict. I'm a thief. I'm a liar. How letters from a stranger changed his life. I'm reading these letters and saying, "Why would this man be telling me he loves me?" Tomorrow. Well, Eileen Hadaway is a woman after my own heart. She loves a good cup of tea. And that's part of the inspiration behind her successful company. The other part is her love for God's Word. Take a look. Every morning Eileen Hadaway sits down with her Bible and a cup of tea. She says that one day God gave her an idea. That's when I thought about a tea tag. I would love people to see God's Word, just to have it almost come to them. So she started the Scripture Tea Company. We'd box them up so nice, and we'd be able to share God's Word with other people. But getting the business off the ground was tough. Her husband Bill was worried. Without very much revenue in the tea business and no paycheck on her side, we didn't have anything in the bank, and very little money to pay anything. Eileen took the problem to God in prayer. Things don't look good. Things look really bad. But I know you're in control, and I know you're going to take care of this. One day, Eileen came across a verse in the Bible. "Give, and it shall be given unto you." So I just said, "I'm going to start giving." So she started giving tea away. One organization she donated to was Operation Blessing. I loved what they did. I loved that they were there for people during emergency times. So we sent thousands of tea bags to Operation Blessing. Soon the business took off. Eileen was filling orders from LifeWay Christian Stores and Cracker Barrel. They kept donating tea to Operation Blessing, and became CBN partners. Our business doubled the first year, and the second year it tripled. We just continued to keep giving. And as we did, doors kept opening everywhere. They say giving to God was the key to their business success. It was unbelievable, that if I give, God gives to me. It's that simple. Wonderful story. I'm a fan of tea. I'm a tea gal, too. You go to India; they really know how to do tea. And it's just great. But anyhow, Eileen gives a spiritual kick with the tea. And it's just marvelous. Folks, for those of you who want to participate like Eileen in the work of CBN or Operation Blessing, it's so easy. Sixty-five cents a day becomes a 700 Club member. That's 20 dollars a month. But there is something we want to give you. It's called Life Beyond the Grave. If you haven't gotten this DVD, it is dynamic. It is fantastic. It has the stories of a number of people who died and came back. But in the process, they either went to Heaven or Hell. And you give this to one of your friends, you say, "I don't believe in Hell." Well, okay, watch this. Watch this, and then tell me you believe in it. We'll give you this. And for those who pledge as much as 1,000 dollars, we'll give five of them. So you can have one to keep and four to give away to your friends. So call right now if you would, please: 1-800-759-0070. And say, "You can count on me. I want to be a partner. I want to be blessed." I love it, Pat. Did you watch this? Of course. I love that. I told you, it's one of my favorite DVDs by far. Talking about Heaven and Hell and getting your life right. Brother, please. All right. Go ahead. All right. I interrupted you. No, I was saying just how great the show is and about just the whole concept of forgiveness, and how it's already impacted people. We have a chat room were people are always e-mailing in. Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, before we even get to the questions, we want to share a comment from John, who literally just wrote us in our chat room. He says that after today's stories on forgiveness, he says, "I have chosen to forgive my wife for divorcing me. And I am praying for her every day and for the restoration of our marriage." Bless your heart. So it's life changing. I had I think a problem after a political adventure I was involved in. I was beaten up very badly, and I really had some bitterness against people. And it was on New Year's Eve when my wife and I were praying together that she gave me this book by Sister Basilea Schlink of the Evangelical Sisters of Mary that talked about the wound to your reputation is more hurtful than anything else. And when somebody attacks you in that fashion, it can be almost more painful than somebody who shoots you with a gun. So in any event, when I read that and I began to forgive, all of a sudden, my life changed. It just opened up like a flower. So anyhow, so much for that. It's true. It's true. It's true. I shared the story, going through my divorce. Kind of the same thing, how I thought I forgave, but then something would happen and I would get mad all over again. And every single day I was getting mad about something, because I hadn't forgiven from my heart. And I remember I got to the point where I said, "Lord, I can't forgive, because I don't have the capacity to." And I said, "Lord, will you forgive him through me?" And the Lord did. That's it. All right. Come on. Questions. Anyway, here's time for our chat room. It's been opened up all day, and so here is one from Twyla, who says, "My daughter is taking a college world religion class. The religion that has been assigned to her is witchcraft. I'm afraid it's dangerous for this 19-year-old to get involved even if it is in the name of research. Should she drop the class?" I'm going to say no. I tell you, you've got to go over with her. But let her write a paper exposing the problems of witchcraft. And don't treat it nicely. You can treat it harshly if that's the problem. But you need to go over with her. See what these people say. See what the results are. Go into some of the history of people who have been involved in this and what's happened to their lives. And you don't back away from it. At 19, she's not all that much of a shrinking little violet. Let her confront what's out there, because it's out there. So why not take it on? There's nothing wrong with that. But don't be seduced by it. Thinking, "Oh, yes, witchcraft is great. I'm going to go cast spells on people." Next. Exactly. When I was in college, I took a religions of the world class. It had all the religions. For a second I was confused, and I was like, "Dude, this is crazy." I'm like, "Jesus is the only way." All right, Jeff says, "I was born with a rare skin disorder that has no cure. I want to donate my body to science in hopes it will help doctors find a cure. What would God think about this?" What do you think, Pat? I think He would applaud it. I think it's great. Why not? What are you going to do with your body when you leave it? It's just a hunk of bone and flesh and nerves, and so forth. If it can be used in science, amen. Why not? Why not? All right, Sandy says, "I've been texting blessings and scriptures to my brother. He has actually asked me to stop." He never wants her to mention Jesus or God in his presence again. "I've been praying for his salvation for a long time. Do I ignore his request, or should I just stop associating with him?" Neither one. You can keep associating with him. You pray. But I'll tell you, he's a rebel. And what you need to do is to pray to God, "He is a rebel against you. And it is an insult to your holiness and your righteousness, and deal with him." Paul said to the church, he said, "Surrender this one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh that his spirit might be saved in the day of Jesus Christ." You turn that brother over to Satan and watch what happens. Now, Pat Robertson. I'm quoting from the apostle Paul. I know, but we can take it to—you don't want to turn someone over to . . . . The apostle Paul said it in Corinthians. You read your Bible. I'll read my Bible. Okay. But Kristi Watts says—well, you don't want to turn . . . . The scripture according to Kristi. Even if the scripture says turn him over to Satan, just pray for him. He's your brother. You love him. Turn him over to the devil, and the devil . . . Don't turn him over to Satan. And you'll get him back as a different person. Pray for him in Jesus' name. Gabby says . . . . The Gospel according to Kristi. I'd rather have it according to the apostle Paul, but you keep going. Go on. All right. Gabby says, "I'm 24 years old and had my tubes tied. I regret it more than anything and wish I'd left the decision to have more children in God's hands. Can He heal me and allow me to have more children?" I'm under the impression that tied tubes can be reversed. I think you can get a doctor to reverse it. Yes. I think so. Right? Yes, I think so. I don't think it's forever. I may be wrong. It depends on what they did to you. But, man, that's awful young to be deciding you don't want any more children. I know. That is. Big mistake. Anyhow, it's too late. But see if you can't find a gynecologist or someone, a urologist, or somebody who can get in there and fix that. Well, tomorrow we've got the law of greatness from The Secret Kingdom. You don't want to miss another episode. People really seem to appreciate the teaching from The Secret Kingdom. We leave you with these words from Psalm 86 . . . . . . . . "For you, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon you." Thanks for being with us. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye bye. Here at CBN, we see amazing things happen when we stand together. That's why we want to say thank you to the thousands of you . . . . . . . . who recently pledged to join the 700 Club. Your monthly gift makes it possible to bring crucial help to those who need it most. You help heal the sick, feed the hungry . . . . . . . . and preach the Gospel across America and throughout the world. You've brought health and hope to people in desperate need. And changed their lives forever. This widow was so poor she had to search for food for her children. Many times all she could find was ant larvae. When her daughter became ill with a deadly parasite you sent a free medical clinic that saved her life. He also gave his family a small poultry business so that they can support themselves. Your love ended their despair. So please watch for this mailing and send in your pledge. This year millions will know . . . . The love and saving power of Jesus Christ. And that only happens, because you were there.


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