Dave Says: Help Fiancé Pay Debt Before Marriage?

Dear Dave,

My sister is engaged and getting married in a few months. Her fiancé is bringing a considerable amount of debt into the marriage. He has six credit cards that are all maxed out, a $30,000 mortgage and lots of medical bills. She’s quit college to work full-time and help him pay all of it off. Is this a good idea?

Heather

Dear Heather, Your sister is helping him pay his bills before they get married? Why? Those bills become their joint responsibility AFTER marriage and not one second sooner. This is not a wise thing. What if something unexpected happens and they break up? Once you get married, there’s no “yours” and “mine” anymore, it’s all OURS and you should pay everything together. Even marrying someone who is in debt is fine, as long as the habits that caused the debt have been broken and you’re in agreement from that point forward on how you’re going to handle money. Her biggest responsibilities right now are making sure she really loves this guy and that they’re in agreement on financial issues before the big “I DO.” Never pay your fiance’s bills before you get married. I’ve seen too many people come in to our offices for counseling who were broke because they paid someone’s bills who then left them before they reached the altar.

Dave