A Heart of Flesh for a Heart of Stone

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

I think we all know that life on this earth is filled with hurts and sorrows. There’s no way to escape them, but we can choose how we will face them. As various hurts, wounds, and offenses enter our lives, I’ve noticed a few common ways of dealing with them: 

• We become a victim, live in constant pain, and grow ineffective.
• We build walls that protect us and allow us to function but keep out the good along with the bad.
• We learn to honestly mourn and turn our hurts over to God.

Now, I don’t have much to say about becoming a victim because I don’t really understand that response. I’m more of a fighter. But, boy, am I good at putting up a wall.

I doubt anyone (except maybe my husband) would describe me as “hard-hearted.” In general, I’m pleasant and encouraging by nature. But I’ve done it—built those walls of protection in my heart. Those very walls, those stony places, allow me to stay upbeat and warm and fun-loving, because I feel safe behind them.

I’ve even justified to myself that they aren’t walls of unforgiveness. I don’t wish harm on anyone. I don’t hold a grudge. I simply shut off certain areas of my heart. 

I like my walls. They keep me safe. Even with those people I’m so sweet and warm to, there are parts of myself that I hide. I can give love and encouragement, not be easily offended, etc. … but do I let you in? Do I give you the power to wound me? Not often.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that I have kept hard, stony places in my heart. So what am I supposed to do about it? Wear my heart on my sleeve? Learn to be a victim? No, I don’t think so. 

This question has caused me to take a new look at a Scripture from the Beatitudes that I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around, “Blessed are those who mourn …” (Matthew 5:4). Why on earth would God bless me for mourning? I’m tough. I can take care of myself. I have my emotions under control.

Well, here’s the reason. If we don’t harden our hearts and protect ourselves, we can allow ourselves to mourn the hurts in our lives. And what happens when we mourn? The answer is right there in the same verse, “… for they will be comforted.” If we focus on anger and toughness, it’s hard for anyone to help us. But by mourning and turning to God, we allow ourselves to receive comfort and healing. We let others see the hard times we’re going through so that they can pray for us, love us, and minister to us as well.

What’s your default method of dealing with hurts and sorrows? Are there any stony places in your heart? How can you turn those areas over to God?

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Scripture is quoted from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION^®, NIV^® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.^® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.