Former Amish Member Removes the Shackles of Religion

“I knew that if I opened my mouth and I told my family what was going on, it would be over with me as far as to be a good-standing member in the Amish church. I even hesitated to tell my wife,” says Vern Yoder. He grew up in an Amish community in Kentucky where his father was a respected deacon in the church. Rules were important to keep and when young Vern broke them, he would have to confess to the church.  

Vern remembers, “I felt so convicted and I felt so dirty, you know. I felt like just wrapped up in some kind of awful sin because I knew what the church standards, you know, were. And so that's how we grew up. It was like God was love, but He loves you so much He would punish you.”

Vern struggled through his teens to please God. When he married and started a family he felt called to be an Amish preacher, yet still he never felt sure of his salvation. 

“I never knew that you could know that you were going to Heaven. I could never wrap my mind around like a warm, hug type loving God. That was a constant thing going on in my mind...what can I do to be a better person? What can I do to have a better shot at getting into Heaven. And I would be so miserable because I didn't know. And so I would work, and I would work, and I would work at trying to be the best Amish person that I could possibly be,” said Vern.

Despite his best efforts he never felt peace. He recalls, “It would drive me down into this pit of despair, and I'd be like, 'Okay, so there's goes my shot at Heaven. There goes my shot at righteousness.'"

He was a harsh disciplinarian towards his kids and eventually his marriage started crumbling. Vern longed to know why his life was falling apart despite his best efforts.

Vern recalls, “It was at that point in my life where I just – I cried out to God. And I said, 'God, I can't do this any longer. You're gonna have to intervene, you're gonna have to help me out with this.' So I stumbled across a simple prayer. I prayed for truth for the very first time in my life.”

That prayer was answered when Vern moved to a new community where he was allowed to work outside the Amish. He got a job driving a tractor, then one day, he turned on the radio - where he heard a pastor challenge his beliefs.

“He was going through a series of teachings about faith, about grace, about mercy, and he was telling me things that I had never heard in my whole life,” said Vern. “I was hearing that you can apply that now in this life and know that you're going to Heaven. And you didn't have to wait until you die and live in that fear. He said, 'Now, I'm gonna do a sinner's prayer, and if you follow along, and if you mean it with everything that you have, you can know that Jesus is your Savior.' And so I did. I followed along with him as he prayed, and I meant it with everything inside of me.” Vern continues, “I would go to the Word of God, and read things that I had heard the Amish preachers preach for years, but I would see this, and it was like the Word of God just leaped up out of the pages, and I would be so excited. I couldn’t contain it.”

He shared what he was learning with his wife and she came to faith too. As his new faith grew, Vern felt compelled to visit a non-Amish church. 

“The people raised their hands, they worshipped God. This was amazing to me because this never happened in my circles amongst the Amish," said Vern.

The pastor invited him to come forward. Though feeling self-conscious, Vern walked on stage.

“He laid his hands on me and he started praying for me. He said, 'Just throw your hands in the air and just basically give it all to Jesus.' And I heard a small voice tell me, 'Tonight, it's not about other people, tonight it's me and you.' And at that point in time I just threw my hands up in the air, and I just looked up and I just started saying, 'Jesus,' over and over. And the glory of God came down and He filled me with His Holy Spirit that night,” says Vern.

“I started crying, weeping. Because I knew at that moment that God, the same God that made the universe, the same God that created me, met me in a personal way that night when He baptized me in the Holy Spirit. I didn't know all the answers, but I knew that I would follow Jesus, come whatever it may, I would follow Jesus, if it meant death.”

The Yoder’s had to leave their family and friends in the Amish community. God blessed their decision and transformed Vern’s life.

“The love of Jesus worked in me so much that it immediately affected my family. I would apologize to my children when I did mess up,” smiles Vern. “And so it just really softened me. The love of Jesus immediately just changed everything.”

The longing he’d desired to know with confidence that he was saved was finally satisfied in a personal relationship with Jesus.

“I know that I'm going to Heaven. And I don't have to work to get to Heaven. I now want to work because I'm going there. I love pleasing my master, my Savior, my Lord,” says Vern. “I'll never forget what it felt like to have the freedom of, no, you don't have to follow church rules. He's all in all. He is everything, and in Him we are full, we are complete, and that is – I'm just so grateful for that.”