What Do You Do When You Pray for a Miracle and It Doesn't Come?

The machines were beeping and the numbers were jumping. My Dad lay still in SICU. He was driving home when a rainstorm rolled in. My Dad has driven a thousand times in the rain. He’s driven thousands of miles. He’s even driven this route a dozen or more times, but this time was different.

The car hydroplaned and he slammed into a tree. But it wasn’t the back of the car. It wasn’t the front of the car. It wasn’t the passenger side of the car. It was his side of the car, more specifically, exactly where he was sitting.

We got the call, waited for more information, jumped in the car and drove seven hours to be with him. Praying the whole way.

My mom prayed. My two brothers prayed. My four sisters prayed. I prayed. Hundreds of people prayed. We prayed for seven days. We prayed for healing. I prayed my Dad would walk out of that hospital room. I KNEW God could. But I didn’t know if He would.

I’d seen God deliver a sweet baby from the gripping hand of death. I had seen people get set free. I had seen marriages restored. I know of people getting healed of cancer, but my Dad? He never got out of that bed.

It’s hard to process it all. I still feel like I’m walking someone else’s road. I say I feel but my emotions seem to be shut off.

I prayed. As I was packing my bag before we got in the car to see my Dad, I just kept saying, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” — it was my breath.

I know that name. In that name I have been saved and in that name, waters have been parted, people have been given their sight, people have been raised from the dead, but my Dad? He died.

If someone were to come up to me and say, “You didn’t have enough faith,” I would probably punch them.

I believed but my miracle didn’t come.

I cried and my miracle didn’t come. 

I begged and my miracle didn’t come.

My Dad is gone. He’s with the Jesus I cried, prayed, and begged to.

So what do I do now? 

I believe. I accept. And I praise.

I believe in my God who says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways.” Isaiah 55:8 (NASB)

I believe that my God “knows the plans He has for me (and my family), plans for welfare and NOT for calamity.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB - Paraphrase mine)

I believe that my God “Has loved me (and my family) with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NASB - Paraphrase mine)

I believe my God “causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB - Paraphrase mine)

I believe that my God "is good and does good and NO GOOD thing will He uphold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 119:68 & Psalm 84:11 (NASB - Paraphrase mine)

I accept that what has happened will be for my good and my family's good and for the furtherance of the gospel. And I accept, as Ann Voskamp says, that the cross my family and I are carrying is God’s kindest decision.

I praise my God because He knows better than I. He who tasted the bitter taste of death on my behalf to give me eternal life is worthy of my life. I praise Him for choosing me and allowing me to be his servant.

So although this pill is such a hard one to swallow. This is not the road I want to be on. This is not where I want to be. The miracle I prayed so hard for and didn’t receive, I choose to leave it in my Heavenly Father’s hands. And, I choose to believe. I choose to accept and I choose to praise. I have no other option. If you have surrendered your life to Jesus, you have a choice as well. I pray for the strength for us to continually believe, pray and praise.

“I have decided to follow Jesus… no turning back… no turning back.”

Copyright © 2017 Christine Perry. Used by permission.