The Physical and Emotional Toll of Grief

This past week, I watched the televised coverage of the Whitney Houston funeral. Most of us can relate to losing someone before we thought it was their time to go.

To my complete surprise, my chair at medical school died suddenly of an intracranial bleed. His funeral was this week as well. The shock and sadness of his passing reminded me once again that the grieving process takes both a physical and emotional toll.

Grief is an automatic process in which a period of denial helps buy time to process the loss. Although we tend to believe grief passes through consecutive stages, it doesn't. Emotions come and go in no particular right order. We respond with numbness, shock, denial, intense sorrow, pain, anger, confusion, loneliness, emptiness, depression, guilt, fear, abandonment, isolation, physical symptoms, irritability, fantasy, restlessness, disorganization and even moments of hopelessness.

Grief taxes the immune system, making the body more susceptible to illness. Physical symptoms can include headaches, fatigue, appetite loss, dizziness, heart palpitations, numbness and insomnia. The overall feeling is one of exhaustion caused by the intensity of emotions.

It's important to allow yourself to grieve in order to avoid numbing or handling grief in unhealthy ways. Signs a person is going in an unhealthy direction include:

• Substance abuse

• Chronic psychosomatic complaints

• Excessive guilt

• Wanting to die and join the person who died

• Morbid preoccupation with worthlessness

• Inability to get back into a routine after a significant period of time

• Overly intense reactions when the deceased is mentioned

• Isolation from normal relationships

• Feelings of intense hostility or irritability

Grieving intensity comes and goes. Some days you may do well; and other days are just hard to get through. At times, you will be surprised at how the most insignificant thing can bring on an intense feeling of grief. At other times, you will be amazed at your strength.

When you grieve, if your physical symptoms or any of the problems above linger for more than two months and interfere with your daily functioning, you may need to talk to a grief counselor.

Through it all, you will discover God’s grace is sufficient to meet all your needs. Hear Jesus say to you, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (II Cor.12:9, KJV). His strong arms will uphold you with comfort and love.

Dr. Linda Mintle has articles on grief and other mental health topics related to families. Check out her website at www.drlindahelps.com and follow her on Twitter and Facebook.