Mean Girl No More

Ever heard someone use the phrase, "She's on a mean streak" or "He's mean spirited"? 
 
Exactly what does that mean? A mean streak is an intentional doing of things that are bad-tempered and unkind. A person who is mean is typically nasty, callous, uncaring, and unpleasant.
 
Remember the movie Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan? It’s a teen comedy about friendships and fakes. Lindsay played the role of Cady, a new girl at school who deals with fads and social acceptance while leaning lessons about mean people.
 
Here are a few memorable quotes from the movie:

• “Get in loser, we're going shopping.” - Regina
• “You dirty little liar!” -Janis
• “Why are you dressed so scary?” -Karen
• “You're the ----!” -Sun Jin Dinh

And then there was this conversation:

Chip: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
 
The hard reality about meanness is that it isn't limited to a fictional film. You and I face it in real life every day.
 
Mean People and You

How do you feel when someone is mean to you or when the people at school are not nice? Perhaps you feel sadness or anger.
 
I can remember two instances, during my early school days, when I had an experience with meanness. One time, I was mean to someone. The other time someone else was mean to me. From both sides of the fence, I know how meanness feels. Neither spot is good.
 
On the bus on the way home from elementary school, I told a girl that nobody liked her because my friends dared me. When my mom found out, she drove me to the girl's house to apologize. I cried sincerely as I told the girl that I was sorry and I saw that she had been crying too. That's when I learned our words can be cutting. I never want to cut someone like that again. Deep in my heart, I want to use my words to uplift people, not tear them down.
 
Then there was the time in seventh grade when a boy was mean to me. Surrounded by his friends, he looked right at me and said, "You’re such a dog!" It really hurt my feelings. I've never been the most beautiful girl, but I knew I wasn't exactly a dog either. All I could think of to say was, "You’re such a cat!" Of course that made the boy and his gang of mean friends laugh even harder. I walked away really upset. I avoided that boy for the rest of the school year.
 
Natural Reactions and Spiritual Responses

Meanness is the opposite of compassion. Compassion seeks to be kindhearted, gentle, benevolent, and sympathetic, or concerned. Psalm 145:8 declares, "The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion." (KJV) Throughout the gospels and personal ministry of Jesus we read that He was moved with compassion for others.
 
When people are mean to us, our natural reaction is to strike out in anger or hide in a shell of hurt. Neither option is for our best. Striking out causes fights and hiding in a shell inhibits our growth.
 
Proverbs 15:1 counsels that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (NIV)

Colossians 4:5-6 advises, "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (NIV)
 
We must remember that mean people are typically that way because they are hurting inside themselves. So, how does the Lord Jesus want us to respond when someone is mean? And what guidance does the Bible give us to hold onto when our feelings are hurt?
 
The book of Romans offers an outline we can follow as we walk in God's grace:
 
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (12:9-18, NIV)
 
1 Peter 3:8-9 continues, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate, and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." (NIV)
 
Sharing Compassion

My early experiences with meanness (the girl on the bus and the boy in seventh grade) taught me some tough lessons about human nature and how cold we can be to one another. Through prayer, I became tender and I began to realize that God's love is the everlasting warmth that melts all of our coldness away.
 
By the time I was in high school, I looked for kids who were hurting and alone. I invited them to sit with me at lunch or at the pep rally. Eventually I became bolder and started inviting kids to church.
 
You can do that too! You can reach out and make a positive difference at your school. Even a small, kind gesture is appreciated by someone who has been trampled by a herd of uncaring peers. When you love others like this, you are witnessing for Christ. You are sharing His message of abundant life with the world around you. That is what evangelism is all about.
 
Everyone has been treated meanly at one time or another. If you are suffering today because someone has been mean to you, you're not alone. The Lord Jesus understands. He died on the cross to take your pain and bring healing. Look at this Scripture from the book of Isaiah.
 
"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:3-5, NIV) 

 
~ Jackie O.