The Words in Red

"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32 ESV)

Yesterday my world changed.

Though I'm not sure how exactly, I know for right now - my world is different.

I've been through tests for multiple sclerosis before, but before it was just one part of my body. So when my eye began to twitch constantly I thought, Wow. I really AM that stressed out. When my nose and mouth and chin joined in, I realized maybe this wasn't simply from the fact that I am the woman of no sleep, too much caffeine, and not enough patience.

When the doctor told me it was back to the MRI drill, and the spinal tap talk started again, I have to tell you I cried all the way home. I looked in the mirror at my twitchy face, now a sure-fire match for Tabitha on Bewitched. Then I had a little mental breakdown with my door locked and my head, face first, in a pillow.

Then I did what I hate to do, what I try so hard to never do - I got angry. I saw red ... with the one person it seems so sacrilegious to put on your grudge list - God.

I think from time to time when the big things in our lives sneak up in the midst of the trivial stuff; we all get so comfortable in the everyday that we simply cannot fathom the thought of the extraordinary circumstance.

''Why me? Why now? I'm a good person.'' These are words of a Christian who just realized the world isn't fair.

While it takes something pretty hefty to make me see red with Him, when I do see red, I'm completely self-absorbed. I can't fathom why bad things happen to me; why they happen to the people I love. What on earth could the cause of suffering be when you live in expectancy for a God who never fails?

If I told you I understood it, I'd be a liar.

But what I do understand is this: I've already been blessed beyond compare - friends who have loved me since I was just a kid, kids who love me even when I don't deserve it, and a Savior whose blood washed my sins white with red ... even though He knew sometimes I would see red with Him even though He didn't deserve it.

I think God is a God we can be honest with. The truth shall set you free He says. But in the truth of our circumstances we must also look for the Truth of the words of our Father: 

"Do not fear, for I am with you." (Isaiah 41:10)
He says if He is for you who can be against you?" (Romans 8:31)
"I will never leave you or forsake you.'' (Hebrews 13:5)
"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.'' (Jeremiah 33:3 ESV)

The words in red - they mean the most.

When life doesn't make sense, when the world is crashing down on your rooftop and the wolf is at your door, take heart. Baby, He's got you ... no fear.

Take your sickness and your sadness, take your worry and your regret, take your blame and guilt and totally-broke-down/falling-in-a-rabbit-hole life, and let the red you are seeing ... be transformed by the words in red.

Copyright © Brooke Keith. Used by permission.