Are You Teaching Your Kids to Be Emotional Hoarders?

I have emotional garbage. It’s true. In fact, many of us do.

It occurred to me recently as I explained to my daughter the similarities between her messy room and my life.

I am not running a dump. I am running a household, a family. If I hoard emotional baggage, I am not allowing room for growth.

What ‘stuff’ blocks the doors that you need to close? Do you perhaps have a hard time saying goodbye to people who have hurt you? Do you have addictions, regrets or guilt? Have you thought something was let go only to see that the minute an emotional crack surfaces in your life it is just as raw as it was years ago?

I can break down over a sentence. If an old wound is scraped, a sudden emotional storm emerges. This is evidence I haven’t truly let my ‘stuff’ go.

I now see that I haven’t been able to completely shut the door on this pain because I am blocking it. I’m either blocking it with a new distraction or blocking it with my denial.

In these instances, I’m not showing my kids how to be free in Jesus. As parents, we need to show our children how to release our ‘stuff’ (pain, guilt and sin) to God. If we continue to hold onto it, we will weigh ourselves down.

Sure, it’s hard to imagine forgiveness sometimes. God tells us that all of our mistakes and sins are forgiven and we are made new each day. But, that’s difficult to wrap our minds around when the pain is still deep and real. We need to completely forgive others and ourselves.

Lately, I’ve been praying that I stop being a wasteland of emotions. I want to feel whole and happy for my sake and my family’s.

I have a close friend who explains to me constantly that my emotions can run and ruin my life if I allow them to do so.

Of course, we will always have gut-reaction emotions of sadness, anger and joy. These are all part of our humanity and the way God made us. However, it is up to us to allow ourselves to grow and move on from hurt that builds walls around our heart and prevent us from trusting and loving completely.

Recently, I was told that I am incapable of accepting love. I thought that was crazy until I prayed about it.

Honestly, I do push people away. I am scared of loving and being loved. As a mother, a friend, a family member, I love deeply. However, I am quick to push away from people at the first sign of trouble.

It’s my go-to instinct. I wall myself up with emotional garbage; so much so that is it is hard to get through to me. I see now that I’m like a hoarder when it comes to clinging to my past pain.

Hoarders sometimes cling to stuff as a mean of having a protective barrier around their lives. They forget that eliminating the garbage can make their lives more productive and happy.

Emotional hoarding leaves no space in my heart. I am not teaching my children love; I’m teaching them how to build up defenses, which I don’t want to do.

Do you need a major clean out in your life?

I would love to hear your stories and advice.

I’m starting with prayer and I know God will lead me in the right direction.