Forgiving Yourself and Others

Forgiveness is God’s greatest gift to us through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. Christ died on the Cross and rose again from the dead three days later so that we can be forgiven in the eyes of God. Yet, even for forgiven Christians, we often withhold forgiveness and let judgment fester in relationships.

My four year old holds grudges. She is full of “remember that time” and “I’m still mad about….” I try to explain to her that letting go of past hurts will make her feel better. Even as I counsel her, I admit I have hold onto offenses.

I like to think I am living a godly life as a forgiving person. I try hard to let things go and to feel free of the hurt that others caused me or that I have caused myself. Forgiving yourself can be difficult.

I do not think that we will ever understand the full power of God’s ultimate forgiveness. When He forgives us our sins, are gone completely and we can move forward. He does not keep them in the background waiting to use them against us, like we do with our grudges.

My oldest daughter beats herself up about things she has done wrong. It’s a nasty habit she learned from me.

We sometimes measure sins against each other, comparing our wrongs to those who have hurt us. The truth is that it does not matter. You can look at anyone’s life and find the bad. But that is between them and God. When you show your children that it is OK to judge others for their mistakes and to hold grudges then they will surely follow in those footsteps.

My grandfather recently passed away. He was a person who had a very hard time forgiving. He would tell you things that people had done to him over 20 years ago. Bitterness ran his life. I shudder to think that could be any of us. Anger will only make us sick. Grudges hold you down like chains and prevent you from growing spiritually.

His life was spent talking about and being angry at people who probably never thought twice about him. Reflecting over his life caused me to realize that I need to be sure that my children understand how important it is to forgive.

Forgiveness is not just a gift for the other person, but also for yourself. Joy and peace follow forgiveness, as your heart releases the weight of a grudge.

To teach my own children about forgiveness, I have been working on a few exercises with them. I bought a dry erase board and wrote a few of the things on it that they have been upset about lately. Then, I asked them if they understood what Jesus’ death and resurrection meant for us. My seven year old said, “He died for our sins”.  So I explained that his sacrifice means our sins are gone, wiped clean. I erased the board so it was blank and told them that as long as they turn away from sin and look to Jesus, He will take away the hurts and the offenses.

I also explained that it is wrong of us to constantly remind each other what we have done wrong in the past. No one should have their sins or mistakes thrown in their face constantly. If you are judging someone else’s sin that God has already forgiven, then you are not allowing yourself or them the freedom of true forgiveness.

If you have trouble forgiving, which most of us do, write down what is bothering you. Tear it up or even burn it in a fireplace. Pray for God to help you free your heart. When you pray for peace, He will heal you.

Teach your children to pray for those who have hurt them and to let their worries rest in Jesus’ loving arms.

How do you teach your children about forgiveness?