Christian Living


Mommy and the Joyful Three 10/07/14

Teaching Kids to Be Confident

This week, I feel God has really placed on my heart to talk about self-esteem building, mainly with daughters but it applies to our sons as well.

Being the mom of two beautiful, bright daughters has taught me much over the past nine years. I suffered from low self-esteem growing up; and I have made it my goal to build my daughters up so that they do not fall prey to feeling unworthy.

The Bible tells us that we are worthy, of love and of the life that God has intended for us. We can overcome and persevere with Him.

Proverbs 3:26 says, “for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught”.

As parents, we are role models for our children and our own self-worth will reflect on them.

A recent conversation with a friend opened my eyes to how much of a role we can play in building up or tearing down our children’s confidence.

Weight was the topic. We spoke about how interesting it is that some girls are so insecure about their weight and appearance while other girls are just so confident.

I have written before about my own struggles with an eating disorder when I was young and how my self-image affected my ability to maintain a healthy diet.

My mother was not raised to have a good self-image and she struggled to not allow that to affect me. However, I would overhear her saying she was overweight when she was not and I would hear her often talk down about herself.

It affected me because I was a chubby kid. I felt because weight was such an issue with her that I was not good enough if I had extra weight on me. She did not need to say anything bad to me about my weight; her words about herself became how I felt about me.

Our daughters watch us. They watch the choices we make in men. If we choose an abusive partner, physical or otherwise, it shows them that abuse is acceptable. If we complain about our appearance, it shows them that we associate looks with worth.

I started worrying about my weight when I was only seven years old. By the age of 12, while most girls were still playing with toys, I was calculating calories. Diets became my obsession.

God created each of us in His image. When we talk down about ourselves or others, we are insulting God’s creation.

A healthy weight is important. We should take care of the bodies God gave us, but we should also know that we are loved no matter what the scale says.

Do you know that self-confidence is one of the most gorgeous traits a person can possess? It radiates off of you and encourages others to see the natural beauty inside of you.

Self-confidence is not conceit. It a weapon that can ward off insecurity-inspired choices, such as bad relationships or allowing others to weigh you down emotionally.

I implore you to talk to your daughters and your sons about how God’s love makes us more worthy and more beautiful every day.

One of the ways I am going to do this with my own children is to have them draw a self-portrait with words to describe what they feel they look like, not on the outside but the inside. No description of their outward selves, but instead of their hearts. I want them to see where true beauty comes from.

The way you were born to look truly has no reflection on your heart. Our physical bodies are a vessel for our souls not the way we should measure our value.

It is our job as parents to develop the radiating love of God in our children. Kindness, love, mercy, faith and confidence are all traits I want my children to hold as they grow up.

Did you ever notice that some of the most physically attractive people in the world are the most insecure about their appearance? When insecurity becomes you, it opens the door to a mountain of problems.

Whether it be that a child is insecure about school, looks or even sports, we must show them that they are gifts to us.

Do you find it hard to encourage your child with how much is placed on physical or academic excellence in society?

Next week, I am going to write more about this subject and I would love to hear your stories and thoughts. If you feel you have a good example or idea, please write it in the comments section below.
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