Speak Life to Your Children

It grieves me to overhear caregivers speak harsh words to children. Doesn’t everyone know the damage such words can have on these precious souls?

When you tell kids they can’t accomplish something, won’t amount too much or that they are just too much trouble, you’re speaking “death” over them.

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21, NLT

Your words can build up a child. Conversely, your words can also destroy and constrain them. Little kids, in particular, are susceptible to the opinions of adults they admire and love. Even untrue words spoken in anger can take root.

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21, NLT

Children tend to emulate the adults they are around the most. They look to us for guidance and for affirmation of their value. They want our approval and blessing. As adults, we forget sometimes just how much these little ones depend on us. We also forget that they are constantly learning. They are learning either valuable lessons or harmful habits.

God tells us to love each other as He loves us…unconditionally. But, we are not always capable of saying and doing the right things despite our finest efforts. Parenting is particularly difficult when we are angered, upset or stressed out. We can end up saying things that affect our children without even realizing it.

As a Christian mom, I try very hard to keep my words in line, always thinking of my children’s well being. I want everything I say to come from a place of loving discipline. This does not mean that I let them get away with everything. It means that I do my best to guide them without verbally lashing out, using words I cannot take back.

I celebrate them and their accomplishments. I don’t want most of my words to be ones of reprimand. There’s a difference between being taught a lesson and learning one.

My oldest, for instance, had a speech to give the other day. I was so proud of her. It was well written and she made some excellent points. But when she got in front of her class, she was not chosen for the next round of speeches and she was very sad. She thought I would be disappointed in her, so it upset her even further. I reassured her that I was proud of her for trying and working so hard on it, even though no one else got to enjoy hearing it.

She looked at me beaming, so happy and said “You know what, the other kids had great speeches, but I am proud of mine still.”

It truly made me happy to see my little girl understand that we should still take pride in our work even if others do not recognize it. God wants us to be diligent in all things. Even when people overlook us, He sees and will reward faithfulness.

Discipline does not need to be demeaning. We can all easily fall into that trap, so let’s be conscientious about how we speak to our kids.

How do you make sure that you are speaking life to your children?