Christian Living


Mommy and the Joyful Three 02/16/15

Finding Peace with Family Failures

Let’s face it. Some of us did not have good childhoods. Some of us faced things no child should have to face. Some of us carry the baggage of our parents’ mistakes even now as adults.

It’s natural to fear becoming the very things that hurt us years ago. We can worry about our lineage, as it’s held tight to those in our families who have harmed us.

What we, as Christians, can hold fast too is that our spiritual lineage is not connected to those in our natural bloodline on this Earth. Through our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can have a relationship with Father God, the One who protects us and loves us unconditionally.

Separating yourself from a hurtful past and receiving healing isn’t easy. But when we hold tight to our memories rather than holding tight to the Word of God, we are forgetting that God has redeemed us—our past, present and future.

Unresolved bitterness and anger can create issues as we raise our own children. In some cases, we can repeat the same mistakes that caused us such grief.

We are meant to learn from pain and triumph. Every day we have a chance to make right our futures by eliminating the curses from our pasts.

I do believe Satan can attack certain families and create an aptitude for similar mistakes in their lives. It could be a familial stronghold of addictions or depression. However, no “curse” is too strong for God to handle.

God tells us that we are truly His children and that no weapon, not the hurt from our childhoods, or abuse, or failure will win against us when we follow Him.

Do not follow in the shaky footsteps of those who have their own crosses to bear in this world. Follow only our Savior.

I found myself fearing so much that I would repeat some of the problems from my childhood with my own children that the fear made me only more apt to make the same mistakes.  I would say things that reminded me of the abuse I had endured. I acted out in a similar, unhealthy manner.  I was in a bad place of self-loathing, self-destructive behavior, creating only another generation of wrongdoings.

I had to go to Jesus.  His love for me is the only foundation that my own parenting should stand firm on.

If a religious spirit was the cause of your hurt, go to God for grace and understanding.  Religion, when used as a crutch to harm others, can confuse a child. Religion is not a relationship with the Lord. Remember that faith in a loving God is not the license to treat our children or others badly.

Forgive and move forward teaching your children that loving God is only good. Having a personal relationship with Him will show them He is full of love, hope and grace.

We are born into our families, but we aren’t born to be them—especially if they’re not walking in the ways of God. Our Father in Heaven has great plans for our lives and we must understand that where we are born and raised is not our finish line.

Pray to find peace with your past and healing so that God may work in your present and toward your future.

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