Renouncing New Age Addictions for Unconditional Love
Whittier, CA
“I remember as soon as the alcohol touched my tongue,” says Liz. “I felt this numb feeling like the pain was gone and it felt like instant relief.”
For 18 years, Liz Fuerte, used alcohol to escape a painful life. She felt neglected by those who were supposed to love her the most. Her constant look for security started when she was just five years old.
Liz remembers, “He ended up closing his fist and just punching my mother on the face. And I remember the feeling of nausea and feeling powerless.”
Liz’s dad struggled with alcoholism and domestic violence was a part of their everyday lives.
Liz says, “It was like this constant fight or flight experience that I had living at home because I was just terrified of what we were going to go through.”
Her parents moved from Mexico to California for a better life. Whenever they worked, Liz was left in the care of relatives. When she was seven, an older male cousin sexually molested her for months.
“I felt sick to my stomach and I told him, ‘I can't do this. If you continue doing this to me, I'm going to scream,’” says Liz. “And luckily that was the last time it happened. But the damage had already been done.”
Liz told her parents but was silenced into shame.
Liz recalls, “I felt so powerless. Again, I felt angry. I felt like nobody was going to protect me.”
By the time Liz was 14, she had full blown anxiety and depression. She began partying, having sex and drinking to run away from her anguish.
Liz says, “I began self-medicating because I felt like I finally figured out what would help me.”
After she graduated from high school, she met a smooth-talking marine who told her just what she wanted to hear.
“He said, ‘If you would have my baby, I would treat you like a queen,’” says Liz. “I was looking to be loved. I was looking to be protected. I was looking to just find someone to save me and I put my whole life in his hands. We went ahead, got pregnant and that began a complete nightmare where domestic violence was again my new normal.”
Still, Liz married him hoping things would change for the better, but his treatment of her only got worse.
Liz shares, “I figured that being with a husband that was abusive was better than her being without a father.”
After four years of constant abuse, Liz finally left with her daughter and ended up living at a battered women’s shelter.
Liz recalls, “I'm just a worthless person that doesn't deserve love, that doesn't deserve to have a harmonious marriage. And this is just going to be part of my life. I couldn't imagine a God that would allow so many things to happen. And I blamed Him for everything, including my actions.”
Liz eventually divorced her husband and gained sole custody of their daughter. For the next five years she and her daughter lived in homeless shelters. She also got involved with the occult.
“I would do African healings with a shaman in North Hollywood and I would just, you know, read the tarot cards. I even got certified to be a hypnotherapist,” says Liz. “I was so lost that I felt like Jesus was just like Buddha. He was just another master teacher. And I just began to get darker and darker and more depressed. And it was a cycle of anxiety. I would drink at night to take the anxiety away. And the next day when I would be hung over the anxiety would come worse.”
One day, she started dating a man named, Emmanuel who began inviting her to his Christian church. He also prayed for her.
Liz remembers, “He said, ‘God, please help my friend. Please use her. She's been hurt. She's been hurt for so long. And I just ask you to use my friend and do not give up on her.’ That's when God rescued me. That's when it began. He heard that prayer. He heard it.”
Then one night she had a dream where she says God spoke to her in a powerful way.
Liz recalls, “Jesus said to me, ‘Liz, I used Emanuel to bring you back. I want you to serve Me.’ And I remember waking up and just getting on my knees and saying, ‘Jesus, you are the son of God. I’m so sorry for just lying and thinking you were not God. I surrender completely to you.’”
Liz started going to church and over time, she says God delivered her from her alcohol addiction and even her depression and anxiety. She repented of dabbling in the occult and forgave everyone who hurt her.
“It was a process of renouncing the New Age and walking completely in Christ,” says Liz. “It was a process of forgiving those who hurt me and understanding that God forgave me. So, if God can forgive me, then I must forgive because His blood is enough. For the first time in my life, I found something that was unchanging, something that was completely pure, something that was so unconditional. And for the first time in my life I realized that I was worth something.”
Liz obtained her degree in biblical studies and became an ordained pastor. She’s written a book about her journey called, Women in the Well. She also teaches others how to write about their testimonies through her online course called, Project “I am” from broken to BREAKTHROUGH.
“I think the level of our obedience and our surrender is the level of our breakthrough,” says Liz. And we have to be co-participants of God. His Love is completely unconditional. He doesn’t love the way humans love. He loves with a reckless unconditional love and He’s just waiting for you to come home.”
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